“Perfect timing. I just ran out for hangover food.” She pulls out a chair and sits in front of a plate. “Looking around your apartment, it looks like all you’ve eaten all weekend was wine and a half a dozen bags of barbeque potato chips.
I bite into my burger without even sitting down. “Urmmph,” I say with a mouth full of heaven, “there were Doritos in the mix too.” The burger is so delicious my ass hits the seat so my mouth won’t be so far away from the food.
Julia picks up a fry slathered in ketchup and brings it to her mouth. “I’m sorry, Jane.”
I stop chewing and look up at her, interested to see what she’s apologizing for. Is she sorry for my boyfriend having a baby with another woman? Did Gail hate the manuscript? Did she take the knife out of my back and plunge it somewhere else on my body?
“I’ve been a horrible friend, haven’t I?” She pops open a can of soda and takes a sip, waiting for my answer.
I squint at her and eat a fry. “Is this a trick question?”
“I’m really sorry. I…” She squirmed in her seat. “I think I may have known all along…about Nate.”
My soda goes down wrong and I start to cough and gasp.
“Wait, no. Not like I knew he was your Kiss Cam guy. I just knew that you and him had a better relationship than he and I did. And God, you have no idea how jealous he got when you and Dex hooked up at the costume party. I was so jealous of you, Jane.”
“There’s no possible way that you would ever need to be jealous of me, Julia. That’s ridiculous.”
She puts her soda down and flattens her hands over the tabletop. Whatever she’s about to say is some serious stuff. “Just understand something, okay? I can sound confident but I have a lot of anxiety. I can look beautiful but still feel ugly inside. I can look happy to everyone all the time but I’m fucking miserable.”
I blink quietly at her and take another bite of my burger. I may be acting like I’m okay, but deep inside I’m starving and I refuse to stop eating. “So. You have been a horrible friend,” I say chewing, “because of all of this? Just to me though, right?”
“No, Janie. Honestly, you are my only friend. So I take a lot out on you.” She sighs. “When was the last time I saw my mother? Over 3 years ago. You have a family to run home to whenever you feel sad. I have no one. I have my looks and the fact that every guy wants to sleep with me, so I use what I have. I use it at work to interview athletes. You never have to do that. You’re just talented and people want to talk to you and spend time with you. You’re funny and you don’t have to ploy people with your body to get them to pay attention to you.”
“You don’t either, Julia. You just think you do.”
“You always seem to have your shit together and you never needed a man to make you feel good about yourself. I envy that. So much. And, well, I really think Nate liked you. Way more than he ever liked me. Sometimes all he talked about was you.”
“Julia.You cheated on him. Heneverliked me. We talked about it the first day I saw him after the Kiss Cam stupidity, the day you introduced me to him. He chose to be with you that day, Julia, not me.”
She looks down over all the food and leans back in her chair. “Well, that’s my cock-up then, isn’t it?” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Enough about Nate right now. What happened with Dex?”
I jam the rest of my cheeseburger in my mouth. It’s way too much, but it stalls me from having to discuss myDexlessness.
“Really?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Swallow that shit and talk to me. I honestly want to know what happened and be here for you. You are seriously always there for me, and I’ve been a horrible friend to you.”
It takes me a few moments until I can swallow. “Why now?”
She inhales a deep breath and lets it out noisily. She seems to be done with her food, leaving the majority of it in front of her, while my plate is completely empty. If I had any crumbs left, I’d probably lick them up. I mean, damn, right now I’m wondering if I should ask to eat the rest of hers.
“Dex called me and he told me to, and I quote, get my head out of my selfish, narcissistic ass and be there for you.”
There we go, I just lost my appetite. “Dex called you? About me? When?”
“Yesterday. He told me what happened with his ex.”
“How did he sound?” Was he happy? Did I make the right choice?
“He sounded how you looked when I got here, honestly.”
I lean my elbow on the table and rub my hands over my face. What was the use of showering and doing my hair and eating, when all I have to think about is Dex not being with me anymore? “I didn’t see this coming at all, Julia. I’m…I’m, I don’t know, something way beyond shocked right now.”
“I can’t imagine what you are going through. It must be awful.”
I shrug and crumble up my plate and napkin. “I’m trying not to think about what I’m going through. Dex is the one who is going through something way more than I am.” I stand up and start cleaning the table. “I mean, what kind of person doesn’t tell you she’s pregnant with your child? Why did she keep it from him the whole time?”
“I think you’re handling this all really well. I would have gone crazy and punched him.”
