At noon, a messenger arrives with a box wrapped in a brown paper bag and twine. I sign for the package. It’s the newest release from one of my most beloved authors, a phycological thriller about a woman who falls in love with a stranger online. There’s a yellow post-it note stuck on its cover.One chapter a night, let’s read it together.Hopefully I’ll be home before we reach the end.
I can’t help but wonder if Pippa Grace is there when he thinks of these gifts. If he talks about me with her. Does she even know I exist?
I come home from work late. I’m like a machine churning out ten thousand words a day. I’m trying desperately not to think about the possibilities of Pippa and Dex. I want to believe he’s a decent guy, I want to believe everything he’s telling me. And I do, I believe him, mostly. Until my doubts start creeping in. So I drown myself in work. In words. In Damian Miles’s stupid messed-up consciousness.
There are different flowers every morning on my desk. Wednesday it’s carnations. Thursday it’s daisies. When I arrive home and close my apartment door, I see Damian on my couch, staring at my living room wall. My framed prints are thumping by themselves.
I toss my keys and bag down and smile. “I take it Julia’s home and you’ve heard her scream how big Nate’s dick is?”
“They’re right there,” he whispers, touching the wall.
We order pizza and listen to them for two straight hours. I swear they must do it five times. Each time louder than the last.
At night, Dex and I fall asleep texting about the main character of our co-reading book and all her flaws. She’s a lot like me, lonely, waiting for her life to start.
Friday there’s puffy pink peonies tied together with a ribbon on my desk. Written on the tag are the words:I miss the warmth of your skin.
Julia is staring at them with a frown.
“How was Florida?” I ask, shoving my bag under the desk and putting down my coffee.
“Humid. Are those flowers for you? Dex actually sent you flowers?” she asks.
I pick them up and bring them to my nose and breathe in deep. “Yeah, he’s being really sweet.”
“Yeah, because he’s smashing preppy ex-con ass.”
“Stop. He isn’t.” I bring my coffee to my lips and a sharp abrupt noise in my ear has me spilling it down the front of my shirt. Julia jumps and knocks into me, and she gets what hasn’t splattered on me, sprayed across her blouse. She howls.
Gail stands between us, laughing with a foghorn in her hands. “Pitch meeting! I need brilliance, people, brilliance!”
I pluck a handful of tissues up and both of us start dabbing ourselves as we walk quickly down the long hallway to the conference room. Before we’re even inside, Gail is barking out articles and stories. Surprise celebrity breakups, secret celebrity babies, a politician’s affair; I ignore most of it because I’m already swamped with the long-distance relationship column, the Damian Miles files, and the tell-all book. There’s no way she can pile any more work on to my already-heaping stack of—
“Jane, dear? I need a fun sexy fluff piece from you.”
I almost scream. “Wait, what? Why? You know how much I’m working on right now.”
Julia huffs and taps her hands against the table. “Whatisthe story with Damian Miles anyway? Is that even a story? Didn’t the guy parachute into Brazil to live with one of the uncontacted tribes of the Amazon?”
That’s what they’re saying now?Not really too far from the truth, since he’s camping, uncivilized on my couch with only a pair of my underwear on, puffing on moon cabbage all day.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little tits about him. I want you on that piece, Dick Size of Gym Guys.” Julia seems suddenly overly excited.
Gail scratches her pencil against her pad, then taps it repeatedly. “What was one of your pitch ideas before the Damian Miles story?”
I pull up my phone and open my notes app, picking out one of the easier ideas to throw at her. “Oh, how about Dick and Dash?”
“Oh, I like the sound of that title. Tell me more,” she beams.
I read the idea I wrote out loud. “Basic assholery dating behavior. The guy pretends to be romantically interested in someone, invites themselves over, orders horrible take-out, binge-watches a Netflix show with you. Then after a semi-satisfying round of squishing the squashies, they vanish out of your life without another thought. They dick, then dash.”
Julia leans closer to me, “Youcouldcall it Dex and Dash too.”
Oh, I could just smack her. “What is your problem with Dex?” I hiss under my breath.
Gail narrows her eyes at us, then loses interest in our hushed whispers and moves on to her next victims. I think I hear her tell a new young intern to research furry fetishes and looners. There are some heated words after that, but I can’t focus on anything but my closest friend in the world talking horribly about the man I’m dating. She was friends with Dex before I ever started dating him. She always flirted with him and swayed her ass in front of him. There was nothing wrong with him then. Now that he isn’t paying her attention, she’s pissed off he’s with me? She’s got Nate.Nate. He was my Mr. Perfect. Why does she have all the light shine on her all the time by everyone? Doesn’t she get it? Just because Dex wants me, it doesn’t make her any less desirable. I’m not taking anything away from her. She’s still perfect Julia. Why can’t she be happy for me?
I follow Julia back to her desk, ready to argue. I poke her in the back of the shoulder and she spins around. “What?” she sighs dramatically.
