On the front of his building, the mailbox tells me he lives on the third floor, so I rush through the front doors, through the foyer and up to his apartment. Panting, I need to catch my breath and lean on the wall next to his front door.Freaking stupid stairs. I feel hot all over and a little nauseous. And the hallway I’m standing in seems to have shrunk in the small amount of time I’ve been trying to steady my racing heart and out-of-shape lungs.
When I can stand straight again, I close my eyes and knock on his door.
I wrap my arms around myself as I wait. It isn’t cold but I’m trembling, and I’m starting to think he’s not home, or maybe this is all just a big mistake.
The sound of a latch being unlocked clicks through the hallway and the door cracks open a small bit. Dex’s bright topaz eyes flick over my face through the small opening.
“Dex?” My voice is quiet and steady, despite the shivering chaos going on inside my body.
“Nash? What…What are you doing here?”
We’re both frozen, staring at one another. He’s so close I can reach out and touch him, but he isn’t opening the door any wider, like he doesn’t want to let me inside. His gaze is locked on mine, and my heart hammers painfully in my chest. I step back and look down, feeling suddenly foolish.
“Nash?” He sticks his head out of the door farther, but he still doesn’t open it and ask me inside.
“You were right,” I blurt, lifting my head back up to him.
“I usually am. What was I right about this time?” He’s not smiling. He’s not welcoming me into his home or his life or his heart.
“About Nate. He just wanted me to be…” I trail off, when a woman’s voice says something to him from somewhere inside his apartment.Oh my God, he’s not alone.
I let out a loud breath and my eyes water. In all my selfish Nate madness, I never thought Dex would be here with someone else. I thought, with everything he said, maybe, that he felt there was something more for us.God, I am so fucking stupid.
We just keep staring at each other, until I finally look away and choke out a half-cry, half-laugh. I shake my head and take another step back. “I am so freaking sorry.” I rub the back of my neck and nervously wipe at my cheeks in case of any escaping tears. “This was inappropriate. Coming here. And I’m just so sorry.”
Dex slips himself through the wedge in the door and closes it behind him. “Nash, what’s going on?” He’s wearing a fitted shirt that clings to his muscles when he moves, making me choke out more laugh-cries. I feel like a fucking idiot right now, and I just want to run away and hide.
“I’m stupid. It’s nothing,” I clear my throat and wave my hand. “I should go. I need to go.”
Dex edges closer. “Tell me what happened.”
I smile through my tears that are suddenly blurring my perfect view of him. “Nate, um, he asked Julia to marry him and she said yes. And he asked me to be his, I don’t even know what you call it.” I laugh, swiping hard at my tears. “His sidepiece. His mistress. His fuck buddy. His secret.”
Dex stiffens. “Nash? What did you say to him?”
I shift on my feet and bounce, annoyed. “What do you think I said to him? Of course I said no. I don’t want that. Jesus, I don’t even want him anymore. He’s not worth it. I want—”
The door opens behind him and a woman’s face peeks out. “Declan, is everything okay?”
He looks to the side and nods, “Yeah, just give me a second. My friend, Nash, here is just going through something. Five minutes, okay?”
“Okay,” her voice whispers as she closes the door.
Five minutes. I’m reduced to spending five minutes on. I laugh again and sniffle. I can’t even breathe through my nose. I ran here thinking this would be some sort of a happy ending for me. Instead, tonight I’m going to have nightmares about that pretty girl’s face jutting out of the door, and Nate and Julia somewhere inside behind her making monkey sex noises.Where’s my happy freaking ever after?
“Nash, what’s happening in that beautiful head of yours right now?”
“Nothing,” I say, grabbing onto the stair railing and climbing down the first step. I try my best to smile at him, but I’m sure it looks like an awful mess. “I just didn’t know your name was actually Declan.”
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know,” he whispers.
I nod and laugh. “I bet there is.”
“You were about to tell me what you wanted, Nash. Why don’t you finish that sentence before you leave?”
“You are definitely not going to want to hear me finish it,” I say.
“That just sounds like you’re afraid to tell me,” he whispers.
