To:Jane Nash @ UPCLOSE. Com
From:Dex Vanstone @ UPCLOSE. Com
Subject:Get Back Here NOW!
Maybe you forgot,but we were co-authoring the article on politics and social media.
Dex
To:Dex Vanstone @ UPCLOSE. Com
From:Jane Nash @ UPCLOSE. Com
Subject:Really?
We’re sorry,but the person you are trying to reach has blocked you from their conscious. If you feel you’ve received this message in error please contact a good therapist.
To:Jane Nash @ UPCLOSE. Com
From:Dex Vanstone @ UPCLOSE. Com
Subject:Yes, really!
This is exactlywhat needs to be our article. YOUR HUMOR. Which I never knew existed until the one-night-stand article. Please, I need your help on this.
Dex
P.S. I hada nightmare about a woman in a horse head mask.
To:Dex Vanstone @ UPCLOSE. Com
From:Jane Nash @ UPCLOSE. Com
Subject:I’m sure you’ll be fine on your own
It painsme physically to acknowledge this, but you’re a phenomenal writer, you don’t need my help.
P.S. Aren’tyou as humiliated as I am?
It’s upsetting that Dex,the mediocrement Vanstone, is the only person to reach out to me, besides a quick email from Gail responding to mywork-from-home for a few weeksproposal. It’s more than upsetting, it’s pissing me the hell off.
I look down at my phone. It’s two in the afternoon. Day 3, post sex-pocalypse. My traitorous vagina is broken and I never want to use it again. And I’ve spent the last three days worrying my fingers over the hem of my pajama top, hoping to hear about some big blowout between Julia and Nate.
My phone rings, startling me. Julia’s picture pops up on the screen, one I took while we were at Fashion Week and she was dressed like a runway model.
Finally. I scramble to slide it open. “Hello?”
“Janie? Where have you been?”
“I’m visiting with my parents, I—”
“What? Why? You hate staying with them! Is everything okay? Was there a family emergency?”
“Um, no.” I huff, and thump my head against the headboard. “I’m absolutely mortified about what happened in the photo booth.”
“Oh Jane, you can’t take that seriously. Besides, it looked like you were having a great time.” She laughs into the phone. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“But I didn’t know who it really was!”
