My skin heats with a mixture of guilt and desire. It’s a strange combination.
“We’re not together, Julia and I. It was all a joke. You’re the only one I want. Let me see you.” Maybe that’s what he’d say.
I let my shirt fall open, and watch him study me, let him reach out and touch the lace of my bra. Run his fingers along the hem of the cups where it meets my skin.
I’m one of those girls who could snap off my bra from the back without trouble. And that’s what I do. A small undoing of a clasp and my straps fall over my shoulders and down my arms. I let it drop to the floor without care, without inhibition.
Maybe Nate’s knees would lower to the floor next. Maybe he’d kneel in front of me and lick my nipples, and kiss his way slowly down my stomach. He unbuckles my pants and slides them down my hips and thighs along with my panties. He kisses just under my belly button. The scruff on his face tickles so much I have to run my fingers through his hair and fist the strands.
His eyes gaze up to mine and he moves his mouth lower, just over my hipbone, kissing me. His hands graze up over my ankles and calves up to my thighs. They slide over the front of my legs and meet in the middle of my body, gently spreading me open. He lowers his head and brushes his tongue over me, and slips two fingers inside me. Slow and deep.
“Jane? Jane? Are you okay?” Someone’s calling my name.
I open my eyes and Nate is standing in front of me, concern written all over his expression. A low moan escapes past my lips and I’m beginning to feel dizzy. I want to close my eyes again. I don’t want to face reality. I want to snuggle up to the thoughts in my brain. I want his pants off, his hands on me, his cock in me, and no thoughts of Julia anywhere. In my fantasy, the perfection that is Julia never existed.
“Jane? Are you okay? You look like you’re going to faint.”
“I’m fine.” I dart my eyes around, unable to remember why I needed to come down here. Did I need copy paper? Pens? What? “I just…I haven’t eaten today. Low blood sugar.”
“Oh, okay. Do you maybe want to get a bite to eat after this?” he asks.
Going out to eat with him without Julia, I wouldn’t feel comfortable. Being in this small room with him is uncomfortable. “I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”
“Why not?” He steps closer and the room spins faster.
“What would people say?”
“It’s none of anybody’s business. It’s just two friends going out for a quick bite to eat.”
“What would Julia say?”
“Julia doesn’t have to know.”
His words are like an icy splash of cold hard reality to my face. If he’s saying Julia doesn’t have to know, it’s not the right thing to do. “Actually, I just remembered I have to meet someone for a thing.” I look down at my watch, or the place my watch would be if I actually were wearing one. “And I’m going to be really late if I don’t leave right now. But, thank you for the offer. Maybe a rain check for dinner, yeah? We could get Julia and a bunch of other people there too.”
He takes another step forward and he smiles a little too widely. “Sounds like a plan.” Then he slowly leans forward and reaches just past my shoulder. Heat flushes over my entire body and I stiffen, waiting for the moment I’m going to have to push him away and break my own heart so I don’t hurt Julia’s. I even squeeze my eyes shut. I’m so torn and turned on by the fantasy I just had, I hope I have the integrity to say no, even though I really, really want him.
“Just need to pick up a few of these,” he says.
I open my eyes immediately and tilt my head up. He’s grabbing something off the shelf and showing it to me. It’s a box of those graphic pen nibs. My body floods again with warmth, this time from humiliation. He’s not trying to come on to me in any way; he’s getting something he needs for work.
“Oh wow, I need these for my apartment. I haven’t been able to find them anywhere.”
And he’s stealing stuff to take home.
He shifts behind me now, angling himself closer to the copious amount of tempting and tantalizing office goods. Nate stuffs his pockets full of paper clips and post it notes. His fingers zip across all the shelves, helping himself to various items.
No wonder they keep the supply closet door locked. Nate looks like a toddler loose in a candy shop, his hands are everywhere and his pockets are jammed full.
“I really have to go now,” I say in a whisper.My Mr. Perfect is a kleptomaniac. I wonder if his apartment is filled with useless items. Maybe it’s decorated with dozens of staplers, paperclips and assorted erasers. I bet he steals the utensils when he’s out on dates with Julia. I’m suddenly feeling awkward and sweaty standing there, waiting for him to stop. “Nate?” I whisper louder. “I’m really going to be late and I have to lock the door behind me.”
“Oh, right, yeah.” He smiles at me wickedly. “Did you take anything good?”
“Um, no. I just needed the ink for the office printer.” I instantly remember and grab it off the shelf.
“Oh, come on. You know UPCLOSE makes a ton of money off our creativity. We’re allowed to take this stuff, it’s free for us to use here, and how much work do you take home?” He’s got a point; it just isn’t a good one, and I find myself glad he’s got a flaw, maybe it’ll get me to stop liking him so much.
“One of my first articles I ever wrote for UPCLOSE was a compendium clarifying which corporate property theft is widely acceptable, and which ones were Class A felonies punishable by up to fifteen years in prison and thousands of dollars in fines.”
