Nate holds his breath. I don’t know why he’s doing it, but he is.
This is so awkward it physically hurts.
My face flushes; I feel the minute all the blood drains from it and pools down into my intestines. Karma isn’t a bitch; she’s a crazy psychopath whose sole goal in life is to screw with me.
“I have a date on Thursday, I can’t,” I blurt. It’s not a lie either. I’m going to pursue an intense relationship with a book over five hundred pages. Me, my book, and a bottle of wine. A good old fashion Ménage à Trois.
“A date? With who?” Julia looks seriously confused.
I wave my hands away, “We’ll catch up more later. It’s a new thing right now. I don’t want to jinx it.” I’m desperate to exit this conversation right now.
Nate clears his throat, but it doesn’t help. His voice is hoarse and breaks over each word. “I’m going to go and let you guys talk. Uh, Jane?”
I look up and meet his beautiful eyes again, the knife in my chest twists.
“Do you need another coffee since your desk drank most of that one?”
“Yeah, sure thanks,” I say. “Light and sweet, please.”
“Light and sweet,” he repeats. “Kind of like you.”
Stop making me fall for you more, you idiot!I can’t help but watch him walk away.
Julia rolls her chair into my cubicle, seemingly unaware of me lewdly starring at the boyfriend’s bottom. “I had an orgasmic weekend. I think he broke my clit. I’m numb. But let’s not talk about me. Who is this new guy?” She grips my shoulders with an urgency I have never seen before. “Please don’t tell me you’re seeing that horse head freak again.”
I rip my attention off Nate’s backside and look up at her. “No!” I bark out a laugh. “Are you crazy?”
“Is this new guy a serious thing? If not, can I please match you up with one of Nate’s friends, I—”
“Julia, I really don’t want to meet anyone new—”
“Oh God, you’re not sleeping with anyone on the writing staff, are you?”
“What? No!”
“So, does this mean you’re just going to forget about Mr. Perfect?”
“He probably has a girlfriend by now, Jules. Guys that perfect don’t stay single for long.Ifhe was single at all.” God, if she only knew the truth.
Nate comes back with my coffee. He hands it to me in silence, unable to meet my eyes.
“Jane, if it isn’t anything serious with this guy, would you please let us set you up? Nate, don’t you have plenty of friends we could set Jane up with?”
“One of my friends?” He stumbles over the question.
“Come on, she’s really pretty, right?”
Nate’s jaw tightens. “She’s beautiful.” His voice is still a hoarse croak and the air sucks out of my lungs.
“So, any friends?” she prompts.
He looks up and meets my gaze. “No one worth falling head over heels in love with the instant they kiss.”
“Well, that was a once in a lifetime thing, like a fairytale,” I say softly. My heart feels a bit bruised, like something is squeezing it from inside my chest.
“You should have run after him, Jane.” His words are thick and breathy. “You really should have run after him.”
Something bursts open from just beneath my ribcage. Grief or rage, I’m not sure, but it gives me a sudden hysterical urge to laugh.
