“I didn’t have much time alive, I hardly remember it,” he said tightly.
Seriously?How awful. I sat down on my dressing table chair heavily, wondering how to explain.
“That’s sad, Mathias. And I’m not sure how I could explain this, but all I know how to beishuman.” I watched as his body tensed, and I leaned back in the chair tilting my head up to once again meet his gaze.
“Your father murdered the only person I ever thought was my family. I then found myself here, in this morbid fairytale land, and learned everything I thought was true was nothing but lies. I found out my mother was still alive. I came back here to help her—” I swallowed back my anger, but I was getting breathless with the emotions I was holding at bay. “And you. To then be humiliated in front of everyone dressed like some—” I blew out a loud breath, not wanting to say the words. Annoyed, I dragged my hand down my face and whispered, “Sex slave.”
His eyes darkened and he rolled his shoulders as though they were causing him pain, but he said nothing. He stood still, hovering over me, listening.
My eyes pricked with tears, but I refused to let them fall. “Then I saw the chain around his neck, Mathias, with the light flickering in it, and I knew, I knew that was me in there and—”
“I know,” he interrupted, crouching down in front of the chair. He sighed, looking up at me with an unsettling focus. “You have every right to be outraged and full of hate and anger. But allIcould see was you in front of him knowing full well how much he could hurt you. It’s all I can think about.”
Underneath my chair, the flat stones of the floor tremored along the soles of my feet. I gripped the arms of the chair firmly, looking around, searching for the cause of the sensation.
Small liquid canisters of God knew what quaked in their containers along the top of the dresser and puffs of thick chalky dust dropped from the cracks that crept like webs across the ceiling. The room became darker suddenly and layers of shadows covered every surface until the only thing bright was the blue of Mathias’s eyes.
“What is that?” I asked.
He touched his crouching knees to the floor and pressed his hands down on both sides of him, flat against the stones, and looked up at me. “I’m not sure. I’ve never felt this before.”
“You’ve never felt the castle shake like that? Like a small earthquake?”
He shook his head, his eyes still locked on mine. “There have been a lot of things I’ve never felt in Ravenswood until you came.”
Heat flushed through my cheeks, and I looked away quickly, not knowing what to say.
Around us, the walls began to tremble, moving the packed rock and earth, and the hair on my arms stood up as a new iciness drifted through the room.
Mathias whirled his head around, his face going very pale.
He wasn’t lying. He didn’t know what was happening.
“Do you know who could have healed my back?” I whispered.
“No,” he said, turning his gaze back to mine.
“You had nothing to do with it?” I asked hoarsely.
He lifted himself up slowly from the floor, shaking his head. “I wish I could have done something to help you, Raine, but it wasn’t me. I never want to see you in that much agony again.” He raked a hand through his dark hair. “You’re part of me. You must know, right? You must realize how hard it is for me to have you here.”
The small vibrations of our surroundings lessoned, becoming nothing more than a slight hum of something brewing just beneath the surface. There was something happening in Ravenswood that even the inhabitants were unaware of.
“You do realize why I wouldn’t want you here, right?” he asked quickly, stepping closer to the chair.
I instantly stood up and shifted to the side, away from him to give myself space. It was dizzying having him so close to me, looking at me with those intense eyes, telling me we were part of each other—meant for one another. Especially then, when it felt as if Ravenswood was crashing down around us.
“It’s kind of a bad time to get into this conversation, but it’s still a little hard to believe, don’t you think? For me?” Beneath my feet the floor was once again steady and unshaking, as if nothing eerie had just pulsed through this strange world. “That you’re the right person for me? That we’re supposed to be in…love.”
“I never said that,” he mumbled, dragging a hand over the back of his neck. “That’s not what your soul mate is. Although, one would be lucky if it did end up like that,” he said, beginning to pace around the room.
“What do you mean?” I asked, watching him.I knew there was a catch.
“It’s more ofyoufinding that safe place to beyou. That somewhere, along me, you just fit in perfectly, without ever doubting you belong with me there—because me and you, we’re one—we belong together. Whatever our together is.”
His words settled over my skin like the warmth of the sun after a long harsh winter. How many books had I read in my life where the hero said the most perfect words to the heroine and I wished, so hard I wished, that it were me having that conversation with someone? How many Friday nights did I stay home with a bottle of wine and a Netflix movie, pretending I was the star of some romantic comedy where the perfect guy declared his love for me? Or how often did I find myself daydreaming between the stacks in the bookstore about findingthatsomeone, that someone who would accept me unconditionally.
And now, here was a dead guy saying it. All of it.
