She was asleep, curled into a tight ball in the middle of my bed. Lights chased by shadows crossed the walls and blankets, illuminating her soft skin. I undressed in the shadows of the room and changed into a clean pair of boxers. I walked toward the bed, my heart in my throat, and pulled back the covers, easing myself next to her. The scent of my own soap filled my senses; she must have taken a shower, waiting for me. How in the world did she manage to make that manly smelling soap so damn sexy? Showers for me were never going to be the same again.
Charlie was facing the opposite wall, so I shifted closer to her and slid an arm under the pillow she was using and another around her waist. I buried my face in her hair. Her body stiffened, cringed. I could feel her hands fist the sheets and just knowing she didn't feel safe with me completely crushed me.
"Miss sleeping next to you," I whispered, moving my hand off her waist and into one of her tightly closed fists. Uncurling her fingers, I clasped our hands together, knowing damn well that the half tattoos we got as kids were now making one whole heart.
"This isn't a good idea," she whispered.
I tightened my arms around her. "Why?"
"Because I could so easily fall back into you."
"Please stay like this. I just want to feel your body next to me. Your warmth. After all these years, Charlie. Please give me this."
"Jase..."
"I can’t get you out of my head. God knows, I’ve tried. But I just can’t forget you. And I don't want to. Ain't going to happen. And I'm going to make you remember, too."
Nothing but silence filled the room.
"We did thecontrolled meetingtonight."
She still didn't answer, but her body slowly melted back into mine, which was answer enough for me.
"My team arrested him an hour later. Asshole has a ton of charges against him."
I felt her muscles unwind more, loosening up. Slowly, she shifted her body around to face me, eyes full of intensity.
There was only one thing left to ask.
There was more gravel in my voice than I wanted there. "Do you love him?"
"No," she answered without hesitation.
"He's going to go away for a long time. I had him charged with everything. He even wrote down directions to get to your place. That's premeditated evidence, right there."
Her eyes filled with something indescribable, and I leaned in, gently laying my forehead against hers. "How do I make this right?" I asked.
"It'll never be right," she said sadly.
"What can I do? I just..."
"Just let mego," she said, sitting up. Quickly, she climbed out of bed, out of my arms, and stood in the middle of the room, hands on her hips, defiant, brave, and beautiful. She gradually walked around and ran her fingers over the picture frames I'd placed around the room. Things I should have gotten to share with her. A thousand different lives we could have lived together. Then, her eyes landed on the pair of pink lace panties on the top of the laundry basket, and a tight, straight smile slashed across her face.
She walked over to the panties and scooped them up in her hand. Tossing them at me playfully, they landed on my chest, making my head thud back loudly against the headboard.
"Somebody will be mad if she finds out I stayed here tonight with you in your bed," she said.
I didn't even look at them as I tossed them to the floor.
"I don't even know whose they are," I said honestly.
"You don't know who you make love to?" she laughed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I haven't made love to anyone since you. Fucking is a whole other story," I said, climbing out of bed and standing right in front of her.
"Stop. I can't breathe when you're this close to me," she said, swallowing hard.
"I can't leave you like this. I can't leaveuslike this," I whispered.
