We slowly healed from our loss, wrapped in each other’s arms. All around us, people were going on, living, breathing, working, laughing; whatever it was they did. But, we noticed nothing. None of it mattered, because we were the world to each other. Our kisses healed our tears. Our touches healed our sadness, and we healed each other.
There was nothing that
Could ever come between us.
We were each other’s
forever.
But forever isn’t real.
Is it?
Chapter 10
Charlie
During our senior year, every moment Jase and I could steal for our own, we did. That Christmas we exchanged silver rings and vowed to never love anyone but each other. For Valentine’s Day, we got fake IDs that said we were eighteen, so we could get half-heart tattoos. When we held hands, it made one heart. We slept in one another’s arms every night in the tree house. Jase was there each time I cried over silly books in the middle of the night, or if I woke up, sobbing, with nightmares about Joey. His lips would find mind and we’d fit perfectly together—my lost puzzle piece finally fitting into place. His hands would slide across my skin in the darkness, pressing and shifting. I’d open to him each time, memorizing his breathing, his fingertips, his whispers, like every time would be our last, as if each time was our first.
And then winter turned to spring, and one day, when we were almost okay, the ground seemed to erupt beneath us. And within another few moments of violence, my life was changed yet again.
Jase was excited that night; he made reservations for us to eat at a nice restaurant in the city and got tickets to seeWicked. There was no special reason; he just wanted me to get dressed up and feel special. He planned to take me to a bookstore after for coffee and dessert. It sounded like a perfect date to me. Anything to me was perfect where Jase was concerned—anything.
I even went and bought one of those little black dresses that all the glamor magazines swore you had to have. Better than that, I bought a pair of heels. High, like stripper high, heels. I even practiced walking in them.
I wanted to get ready as soon as I could, even if I was too early. My mother’s boyfriend was over and she went out, leaving me in the house alone with him, which always creeped the Hell out of me. I had my curtains wide open, like I always did in my room, and so did Jase. We always seemed to need to keep in constant contact with each other, realizing it stemmed from what happened with Joey, and we never complained to each other. Neither of us felt suffocated; we just needed to feel safe. It was the only way we knew how. We spoke about it a lot and we never hid our feelings from each other no matter what the situation.
I ran from the bathroom with my robe on and a towel wrapped around my head, but Owen noticed me anyway. He always had a creepy way of standing outside of my bedroom door, offering me a smirk and a joint. “Mom’s not home, precious,” he said, chuckling.
“Jase is coming overright now. I have to get ready,” I said, closing my bedroom door on him.
But of course, you could guess what happened. He wouldn’t let me close the door on him. He kicked his foot out and slammed his big, beefy hands against it, knocking it wide open. I lunged for the walkie-talkies, but he got me before I could reach them. My robe was ripped, shredded, right off my body. I threw a punch at him, landing my fist against the bottom of his jaw, but he pushed me easily up against the wall with his body.
But I wasn’t scared, because I could hear Jase as he tore through my front door. I could feel Jase as he yanked Owen clean off me and began pummeling and pounding on him with his fists. “She’s mine!” I heard him scream, over and over. “You don’t ever fucking touch her again, you hear me? You don’t touch her!”
Owen tried to fight back. But Jase was an animal when he fought. I crawled away, still naked, trying to stay away from the two male bodies that were about to kill each other in the small confines of my room, while attempting to find something to cover myself with. Within minutes, Jase’s father was there, separating his son from my predator. Jase’s father tossed my tattered robe at my face, yelling at me to get dressed. And Owen, Owen was a bloody mess, threatening to sue Jase and his family.
I can still see him. Jase, panting heavily in the corner of my room with that crazed look on his face.Unraveled. I tried not to look directly into his eyes, the color intense and overwhelming. But they were my undoing; they unraveledmeand trapped me, forever. They were stunning, yet intensely vacant, distant, and completely empty.My beautiful monster. He wanted to kill Owen, without even a thought, without regret, he would have. He would have done it forme.
Mr. Delaney was still holding him back when Jase’s eyes zoned in on me. Both of his hands clenched on the edge of my dresser, his knuckles white with rage. “Let me go. Let me get Charlie. Let me see if she’s okay,” he begged through clenched teeth.
His father tightened his grip. “No, Jase. You wenttoofar…”
“Move!” Jase shouted, his harsh growl cutting off his father’s threat. The muscles of his jaw tightened and he pushed against his father’s arms, cursing under his breath.“Let me fucking see her!”
“I’m okay, Jase,” I said. My voice was a little more than a whisper. “He…he didn’t touch me,” I said, wrapping the torn robe closer to my skin. I tried to walk to him, but his father blocked my way.
“This is over,” Mr. Delaney said. “The two of you, thisthingyou have, it’s done.” He grabbed Jase by the shoulders and shoved him out of my room toward the front door. Jase’s eyes never left mine. Not until the door slammed in my face and Owen was standing alone with me, beaten to a bloody pulp.
I walked calmly to the kitchen.
“You touch me again,” I said, pulling out a steak knife from one of the drawers, “ and I promise you, I will carve my initials in your dick.” Then, I walked backward into my room and locked my door.
Owen laughed at me for a good twenty minutes in front of that door, pounding and scratching at it just to taunt me.
Then, Jase’s father did what he always did when he son acted out—he sent Jase away. I can still hear him screaming my name sometimes, the way he did that night when his father shoved him in the car. I wondered how long he’d be gone. It was April and there were only three more months until graduation. He’d be back soon,right?
I stood looking out my window for hours, staring out into the night, waiting for him to come back…. but he never did.
