C: I. DID. AWESOME!
J: Never doubted it. Going into work. Have a good night.
C: Stay Safe.
J: Always.
When I got home I leaned against my kitchen island and sighed.
I was completely alone. There was no one to share this amazing feeling with. The only three people in the world who would have cared about this (Joey, Jase, and Auburn) were no longer in my life. It was a sad, lonely fact that I knew I needed to change.
Determined to somehow celebrate this accomplishment of mine, I searched the cabinets for some ingredients and mixed myself a Mad Hatter shot,a large one, and drank it down.
Alone.
I heard the apartment door slam open before I saw Bren walk through. His eyes surveyed my small apartment until he found me cuddled up on my Lazy-Boy reading a book and gave me a smirk. “Still here? Your Prince Charming forget to rescue you out of the tower, Princess?” He kicked the door shut behind him, stumbled onto my couch, and kicked off his shoes.
His eyes looked cloudy and faraway. Damn it. He was messed up again. “Are you on something right now, Bren?”
Waving his hands at me, he gave me those stupid duck lips, “Don’t get all motherly, I just had a few drinks, nothing else.” Then, he shrugged. “I just wanna feel good. Don’t you ever want to feel good again, Sage?”
“I feel fine.”
“That’s bullshit, Charlotte, you’re more fucked in the head than me,” he challenged, surprising me by using my real name—something he never did. He leaned forward, his bloodshot eyes blazing straight into mine. “You of all people know you can’t pretend to be something you’re not. You’re always gonna end up where you belong. If you were born trailer trash, that’s where you belong.”
“I wasn’t born in a trailer, Bren.”
“I’m being rhetorical, Sage. Trash is trash, no matter how much you pretty it up.”
“I think that’s a crappy way to look at people. People can overcome the horrible hand they’ve been dealt in life,” I argue, feeling no fight in me at all.
“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”
“I do, every day.”
But his wordsdidcut me.
And just like everything good that happened in my life, there seemed to be some black cloud that hovered over me, waiting until the best time to rain down on me. Reminding me who I really was, where I came from, and all the shit I’ve lived through that was threatening to whip my emotions up into a storm of insecurity, pain, and heartache.
Just like the day we conquered the ocean. Just like the day we jumped into my fear.
The black cloud hung over our shoulders, not yet close enough for us to see it.
The day after our vacation getaway to the beach, Joey had swim practice after school and told Jase and me to meet him down by the pool after last period. Jase had a lab that day, so I knew he would be late.
Joey and three other boys were doing laps as I walked in. The humid chlorine smell immediately caused my eyes to burn and walloped me with a sneezing attack.
Carefully, I walked up to the side of the pool and got Joey’s attention by making seal sounds and clapping my hands at him like an idiot. Fourteen and idiot seemed to go hand in hand.
The shock of the cold drops of water he splashed at me caused me to yelp. He called me a string of silly names, which made me and the other swimmers laugh, until we heard the loud bang of the poolroom’s door.
“Well, well, well,” a deep voice echoed against the silence of the walls. Slate Marshall and a gang of wannabe-Goodfella-guidos, filed into the room. “If it isn’t little Miss Hottie Stone,” Slate sauntered over closer to me, licking his lips disgustingly.
I tilted my head to the side. “You got something wrong with your lips, Marshall? You keep licking them.”
“I always loved your smart mouth, Charlie, and one day I’m going to shove my dick in it and you’re going to suck me dry.”
“I’m not too worried, Slate. I’m sure I wouldn’t even realize it was there, because you’re dick’s so small.”
