Joey chuckled and nudged his finger into my forehead, “You already do that, Charlie.”
Staring down into my clear glass, I said nothing, because Slate’s words, Spitball’s words, and my parent’s words were louder than Joey’s. Even though his words should have been the only ones that mattered to me.
Joey and Jase both shifted away from me and stood, letting their fireflies out of their prisons and into the night sky. I watched as they slowly floated away.
My firefly sat still on the bottom of my glass cup, her tail dimly lit, her wing looked bent. “Oh, no. I think I broke my firefly!” I shook the glass gently and the bug rolled out and crawled onto my hand.
Joey climbed off the roof and down the ladder, “Night guys. Smell you later, gater.”
The warmth of Jase’s hand touched over mine, and we both held the little broken bug in my palm. He softly pulled on my hair with his other hand, and then let it fall to the place where my neck meets my shoulder, and his strange blue eyes looked into mine, the soft glow of the firefly dimly lighting up our faces. “Charlie. If someone ever breaks your wings, you just got to find some other way to fly. Show them what you’re worth, Charlie. Nobody should set your value but you.”
He slid his hand slowly down my neck, and something in my insides fluttered. It felt like I was hit with a pillow, filled with tingly fairy dust, and immediately my stomach was twisting with sharp pains. “Life knocks you down. It’s going to, and you got to just turn around and get back up, hold on to me if you have to, but always get back up. People will just walk all over you if you leave yourself beaten on the ground.”
And then, he jumped off the roof and landed on his garage, just like a real superhero would do. Instead of the tiny broken firefly in my hand, I wished I could have capturedthatmoment in my glass cup. I would have given anything to have held onto it forever.
I looked up into the sky and felt like such a little girl, gazing up at the stars. Looking out at everything that I was too insignificant to touch, and seeing how impossible everything was, all I could think of that very minute was that if I looked into the mirror, I wouldn’t recognize the little girl staring wide-eyed back at me. Not after that week.
When I looked back down into my hand, my firefly was gone. I didn’t know if it flew away or was just blown from my hand with the sudden wind, but I hoped that it found some other way to fly, just like Jase said.
You think that’s enough for a ten-year-old girl for a while, right?
Hold on a second, my sixth grade year was not done crapping on me quite yet.
Because then, I went into my house, changed into my pajamas, and used the bathroom. I saw crap all over my underwear.
Yes, crap.
Now, I know it had been a hard day, but I think I would have felt myself having an accident in my own pants. Then, I wiped and realized it wasn't crap. It was dried blood.
I’d read books.
This. This was my period.Um. Okay.
Um.
Sweat broke out all over my forehead and chest. It tingled of heat, and I felt faint.Can I bleed to death from this?
I wadded up a bunch of toilet paper and shoved it between my legs and stood, pulling up my dirty panties to hold it in place.
I ran to my mother’s bedroom door and knocked lightly. I knocked harder. Finally, I was pounding my fists against the door.It was locked, and she was not coming out.
My vision blurred, and with the room spinning, I grabbed the house phone and called Joey. Thank God his mother answered.
She came running over to help me and then told me I should celebrate becoming a woman. So I absolutely did, with a whole gallon of Butter Pecan ice cream, that I ate so fast I couldn’t feel my tongue for the rest of the night.
Yay for periods!
And for my swift kick in the ass into becoming a woman.
I wish I could have stayed
A kid forever.
Police Report
Investigation: Criminal Sale of Controlled Substance
Date: September 25, 2014
