Epilogue
Dylan
Two yearslater
Ilookeddown at my watch. It was half past nine. I've been waiting here for thirty minutes, and I was starting to lose patience. I still had an hour and thirty-minute drive back home, and I needed to make sure to meet my groomsmen to pick up the tuxedos atnoon.
These people better hurryup.
A buzzer sounded, and a door opened. “DylanSanborn?”
Finally. I looked up at the corrections officer andsmiled.
“Follow me,” he said, holding the door open to the visitationroom.
“Thank you,” I said as we walked through the double doors and buzzed into the next securitypost.
I hung my coat up and again showed my identification. Through the bulletproof glass, I got a quick glimpse of Sheri sitting in the visiting area. She sat alone at a small table in the corner, hair pulled back drastically into a ponytail, green prison jumpsuit hanging off her thinframe.
She gave me a sheepish smile when I sat down across from her, and a small whispered, "Hello,"followed.
“Hello, Sheri. How have you been?” I asked, just like I always did when I visited. And I visited—almost every other month—for the last year. I even brought Addison and Ben in the beginning until Sheri complained about how much Addison talked and how whiny Ben had become. They hadn't come for a visitation for six months, and Sheri never seemed to mind, or care, or even ask about them. It was better that way anyway. Addison was always too scared to see Sheri; it made her easily irritable and overly emotional, so leaving her home was easier oneveryone.
Sheri shrugged. “Okay, Iguess.”
She gained some weight, looked a lot healthier than she did. Supposedly, she was taking some college classes here. I wasn’t sure what the subjects were, and honestly, I really didn't care all thatmuch.
“Still marrying that cop?” sheasked.
“Tomorrow,” I answered with anod.
"G asked me to marry him, too," she said, licking her lips. "When we both get out." She smiled and shruggedagain.
Right. Whatever. “Listen, I just came here today to make sure. I know you signed the papers, and Iknow—”
She leaned forward and whisper-yelled, “I said I was fine with it, okay? I don’t…I don’t want that life, so you can just have it, got it?” She scratched at her chin and grimaced. “You guys deserve good things. And I’m not a good thing. I knowthat.”
I observed her, looking for signs, but it wouldn't matter now, would it? She put herself in this place. I heard she'd been caught inside her cell with marijuana and a few pills, but still, being in prison was safer and more controlled for her than the outside. And at the rate she was getting in trouble in here, she might end up doubling or even tripling her time. "You need to stay out of trouble in here," I whisperedback.
“And you need to stop coming here. Go live your life, and let me live mine. Stop feeling guilty because I fuckedup.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay."
She would never understand I wasn't visiting her in here for me orus; I was visiting for my children, in case one day they’d want to see her again. The problem was, she didn’t want anything to do with them, and I was foolish to keep on trying. That’s why I was here, for the last time, making sure nothing would ever hurt my childrenagain.
"Don't look at me like that!" she snapped, folding her arms over her stomach. "I want to sit here and say my kids are important to me. I want to feel like they are the most important things in my life, but I can't. I don't want to be someone's mother. I just want to live my life." She looked past me and winked at one of the other visiting families. "Just go do what you said you wanted to do. I signed all the papers and gave up all my rights as their mother six months ago, and we got divorced at the beginning of the trial. I’m all good.Really.”
She stood up and waved the guard over. As always, she was dismissing me. I laughed to myself. I didn't care. I never did. I just never wanted her to come back when she was out of prison, years in the future, asking to be a mother to children she never wanted to be a mother to. I would always be able to tell Addison and Ben the truth; I tried my best with Sheri, and then I gave them the best withCallie.
"Goodbye, Sheri, and goodluck.”
“Yeah,” she said, waving back at me half-heartedly as she left theroom.
I drove back home, smiling all the way, knowing full well I was doing the right thing. I never doubted it, but I had just wanted to make sure she hadn’t turned human again. And I sincerely did wish her luck—she had twenty more years incarcerated. Addison would be twenty-six and Ben twenty-two when she got out. My children didn't need a mother who didn't want them. They deserved a mother who would love and protect them througheverything.
That’s exactly what I was going to givethem.
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