Dylan rushed in after me, his mouth parted, words and sounds fumbling out. “It feels too heavy. I’m aware of it constantly, when I never wasbefore.”
I nodded my head, pretending to understand, and walked over to the chair I slung my coat around when I arrived and grabbed it in a tight fist. I scrambled through the pockets and pulled my phone out to check for messages. I had a few from Ryan, Max, and even one from Vince fromnarcotics.
"I'm going to go." My voice wasstrained.
He stepped forward and plucked my phone out of my hands. “Why? Are you meeting up withsomeone?”
His tone was clipped as he looked down at the screen. Heat spiraled down my spine, and every nerve ending in my body reared up and lit on fire. I yanked my phone back, almost blind withrage.
His eyes shot up to mine. His expression felt so judgmental, I wanted to slap him in his stupidface.
“Who is it tonight?” heseethed.
“Excuse me?” I said, standing straighter, leveling a nasty glare athim.
“It’s a different guy every night. Who is it tonight? The mailman? The old man who lives on the corner? Max? Ryan?” He strode closer, looming tall over me. “Who is it? And why? Why, because of Craig? Because of your child? How does fucking different men every night make any of itbetter?”
I stepped back, reigning myself in. My face tingled with electricity, and rage surged through every inch of my body, but it felt good.I wanted him to fight me. I wanted him to care. My heart hammeredfaster.
“You cannot let one asshole be your guide for an entire gender. You can’t. You can’t judge every man based on one’sassholeness.”
“Who said it was onlyone?”
“It was one. One big fucking dick. Should I judge you on what my wifedid?”
“I’m nothing like your wife!” I snapped, irritated that he would ever thinkI—
“Right, yeah, I know.” He looked mortified and ashamed. He opened his mouth and closed it, then opened it again. “Maybe…maybe you’re messing with different guys every night to try and figure out how to get happy. Maybe that’s yourheroin.”
“I haven’t. Istopped.”
His eyes bore into mine. “The night beforelast?”
“Dean and Liv came over. But you…you can’t do this to me,Dylan.”
His nose flared as he listened, his chest rising and fallingfaster.
"You can't come at me with your perfect words and encouragement and make me think someone like you could be interested in someone like me. You can't continuously make me want things you're not able to give. Giving me hope is like slowly poisoningme."
“I swear to God, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not," hebreathed.
"But you are. Let's be honest here. We're both in messed up places in our lives. But there's something here between us, and if we keep spending time together like this, it's going to get verycomplicated."
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the cabinets with athud.
“Let’s just...uh—” I cleared my throat and swallowed the lump of regret that was quickly forming there. “Let’s keep thinking about Sheri, okay? Fight for your wife, and keep your familytogether.”
His eyes opened slowly, regarding me gravely. “You know, I always had this romanticized notion about fighting for someone you love. Being that guy at the end of the movie holding up the boom box.” He chuckled dryly. “But the reality is just an empty, aching heart, with all its hope ripped right out of it. And I can't help thinking how could it be called love if you have to fight with that person regularly to make them stay withyou.”
Our eyes fixed on one another's. His words pressed against my chest, making it hard to breathe, but I couldn’t look away. Neither could he. It's as though, at that moment, we both knew the same pain, the same hurt, and the only way to get rid of it was through the person standing in front ofus.
My throat turned dry, and I rubbed at my neck to ease the sensation. I kept staring at him and finally offered a slight shake of my head. Tears threatened to fall, but I pursed my lips and held them intight.
Then, slowly, deliberately, his body shifted closer, and the distance between us lessened. Everything in me screamed to run; yet, I stood still, waiting. All at once, the air between us changed; it felt charged somehow,electrified.
“Callie, being around you, I realized love shouldn’t feel likewar.”
Silence chased after his words. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I couldn’t think of anything but the lazy way he was closing the space between us, or maybe it was me moving toward him, I wasn’t sure. The only thing I was positive of was how close our bodies had become, and then the bolt of lightning when his hand reached out and gently touched down against the expanse of my neck. His fingers stroked along my flesh, and I gasped in response. My raspy breaths unveiled mydesire.
