I laughed into my glass of wine. “Shut up.” I didn’t look too bad; actually, pretty badass walking the guy out incuffs.
I ended up staying for overtime to help process the arrest, and Kevin brought over some takeout and met me at my house. It was a sweet gesture, but still, my mind was elsewhere. And the food wascold.
“You look like you have a lot on your mind tonight,” Kevin said, sliding his carton of noodles onto the coffeetable.
We were curled up on the couch, both of us on either end, with a large gap of space between us. My pulse began to race, and I started bouncing my leg on the ball of my foot.I had a ton of crap on my mind, too many inappropriate thoughts about things that will neverhappen.
He raised his eyebrow and pointed at my fidgeting leg. “Stressed out? You want to talk aboutsomething?”
I let out a small laugh and shook my head. "I'm fine. Just a lot of pent-up energy."No, I'm lying, and I really just want to ask your opinion about another guy, another man who is married, and I can't even form the words to doit.
“Yeah?” he said, shifting closer to me. “I think I know what’ll help withthat.”
My first instinct was to pull back. Kevin was nice, familiar even, but his eyes were too far apart, his hands were oddly tiny, and he started every sentence with the words basically or literally. His teeth were too straight and bright, like freaking dental high beams, and he played with his hair too much. He…he got manicures more often than I did, and he just wasn’t DylanSanborn.
I was soscrewed.
Kevin's hand was already between my legs, caressing the inside of my thighs. All I had on were a pair of boy shorts and a tank top; easy access, I figured. Dinner and sex, it was Kevin, and I was Callie, and this is what we did. This was whatI alwaysdid.
Kevin nudged my legs open wider and nuzzled a few kisses on my neck. “I’ve been told I’m good for stressrelief.”
Yes. That’s right. Just stay in the moment and relax. But Dylan’s words whispered through my mind.“Hard not wanting to be the rest of yourweek.”
Kevin's fingers crawled higher and higher until they reached the crotch of my shorts and slidunderneath.
More of Dylan’s words popped into my head. His words, his face, histouch.
Was this the way it was always going to be? Me pining after a man I had no right to think about? He belonged to someone else. I had to get over him. I had to stop thinking about what it would feel like to have Dylan here, with his fingers deep inside me and his lips on myskin.
Kevin unzipped his jeans, pulled himself out, and I just let him have me. He spun me around and folded me over the arm of the couch and drove into me over andover.
I was supposed to be enjoying it. But something waswrong.
It just felt likenothing.
I stared at the clock on the microwave in the kitchen. I had to squint to see the numbers. Did I needglasses?
Ten minutes passed. Kevin was pounding away behindme.
My ceiling was dusty. How was I supposed to get the dust? Do I vacuum it? I didn't think I had one of those attachments that reached thathigh.
Twenty minutes. almost…almost…almost…almost…nope, it’s gone. Wait. Was that a little twinge of something? Nope. Falsealarm.
Thirty minutes. Why was I still watching theclock?
“Are you close?” Kevin asked, out of breath behindme.
"Um." Be honest. He'll do something different. I was getting sore, and I needed some lube. “How about we move to the bed?” I asked. “I have some things in my nightstand I coulduse.”
He smacked my ass. “Hell yeah, let’sgo.”
After we made it into the bedroom, we changed positions four more times.Nothing.
I needed to have the O.I’m going to die without it.Die.
Fifth position. I straddled him as he gripped onto the sheets. “Jesus, Callie. I can’t hold off too muchlonger.”
“The O is going to show up, okay? I need it. You just do exactly what you’re doing. Don’t cum, so help meGod.”
