Chapter 2
Dylan
There was no more coffee,and I'd only had four hours of sleep. Splashing water on my face didn't help, and it was too late to jump in the shower.Another shitty, exhausting double shift. But we needed the money.God, we needed a lot of things, but money was the hardest to come by lately. The more I made, the faster itvanished.
“We need coffee.” My voice cracked with sleep. I glanced over my shoulder when I heard Sheri walk in. My hands froze around my empty coffeecup.
“There’s some here someplace. I know I bought it.” She lumbered into the room: thinner, nose running, and flat, lifeless eyes. Her words were full of coldness, clipped and curt. Maybe she was annoyed that I asked for coffee, but she was the one who always wanted to do the shopping. I slowly turned my entire body to face her and placed the mug soundlessly back into the drainboard.
She was wearing a long, baggy, sleeved shirt, a pair of my sweatpants, and a heavy preoccupation behind a very zoned outstare.
The necklace I’d given her last Christmas was gone from her neck. She didn’t seem worried the day before when I questioned her about it. “Just disappeared,” she told me, shaking her head slowly. Didn’t matter that I saved up for two months to buy it for her—it just vanished like some screwed up magic trick, and she wasn't concerned atall.
There’d been other things missing around the house, too—small things—but things that could easily be pawned for quickcash.
I grabbed my wallet off the table—flicked through its empty pockets with shaky hands and squeezed my eyes shut tight.There was a twenty in there lastnight.
My backside leaned hard against the sharp edge of the counter as she shuffled past me. I held my breath, swallowed down my words. Everything in me wanted toscream.
What the hell was I supposed to do? What was going on? The last time she acted likethis…
My stomach cramped and twisted. I couldn't think about the bad times. I just couldn't, I had nothing more in me to give, and I had no time to figure any of this shitout.
“You okay?” I wanted my voice to be stronger, but it cracked from holding back theaccusations.
“Yeah. Yeah. Everything’s good. I feel good, you know?” She found a bag of gummy bears and stuck a handful in her mouth. “Just tired,” she mumbled throughchews.
My gut rolled.Why was she tired? I was the one who got up when the baby woke up last night, not her. I’m the one who worked a damn double and spent the night with a colicky four-month-old.
She stood beside me, her forehead drenched in sweat, fingers trembling. I imagined her soul—floating somewhere above us—the girl she used to be, the one with the smile I couldn’t get out of my head. The one who had this whole big, beautiful, promising future planned out with me.Now I’m just haunted by the ghost ofher.
“Your mom stopping bytoday?”
Maybe if her mom were here—for a few hours I wouldn’t have to worry—I could believe everything was going to be okay. Her mother was good with both kids. Her mother knew the signs—if there were signs—of anything wrong.Maybe I'm justparanoid.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” There was a sense of sadness to her I never could erase—a giant weight that pressed her down—and it was dragging me to the bottom withher.
She didn’t look me in the eyes. She stared down at a few colorful candies that sat in the palm of her hands.Why couldn’t she look up at me?My heart thudded hard in my chest and jutted to astop.
Behind us, from the living room, a small soft voice called out. "Daddy?" It got my heart beating again, my lips working into asmile.
Addison stood in the doorway as I turned my head. Sleep wrestled in her eyes, and a yawn stretched her mouthwide.
“Hey,baby.”
Somehow, my over-tightened muscles separated from standing guard in front of Sheri, and I knelt on the floor in a happy pile of fatherhood at my daughter’s feet. I pulled her into my arms, breathing in her scent; it offered a small reprieve from the pile of shit I left unsaid between her mother andme.
“Can I cuddle with you?” she mumbled into the crook of my neck. “In yourbed?”
“Daddy’s gotta get to work, Babycakes.” I leaned back, looking in her sleepy blue eyes, and tucked a loose strand of wild bed hair behind her ear. “I’ll be home late tonight, but I promise I’ll sneak in and kiss you goodnight,okay?”
“Pwweeeease,” she said, puffing out her lower lip and batting hereyelashes.
Already learning from her mother. God, I’m going to have my hands full when she gotolder.
My back ached as I stood up, and I ruffled Addison’s hair, hoping she didn’t notice me cringe when I moved away. I waited for Sheri to take over, to say something to stop Addison from wrapping herself around my leg to keep me from leaving. But when I looked up, all I saw was the top of her head as she looked down, obsessively peeling the chipped nail polish off her bitten downstubs.
A small voice deep inside my head whispered suspicion into my ears,Was she okay? Was something wrong? Again?I didn’t have time to ask all I wanted to. God, I didn’t even have the energyanymore.
