I got what he was saying. He and his wife Sophie hand their hands full with their son James, so much so that I could tell it was putting a real strain on the relationship. He was dealing with all his everyday life issues but wanting to stop for just a minute and deal with what Thomas did. I got it; I really understood. I just had nothing to say to make it any better.
“They’re putting a new guy in already, transferred from a detective squad, somewhere in Manhattan or the Bronx maybe. I don’t remember. Heard he’s not afraid to get in the middle of shit, though,” Callie said.
“Thomas’ grave ain’t even shoveled over yet, and they’re already trying to replace him,” Jack complained, sipping again from his bottle.
Callie shook her head and leaned in closer to us. “I’m just going to say it,” she said, eyes wide. “What the fuck happened? Why would he do it?”
A sharp pain stabbed through my jaw from my teeth clenching so hard. I didn’t want to sit there and discuss it. I didn’t have the ability just yet to set the reality into stone. My best friend was dead, and he did it to himself.
“Hey,” a voice came up from behind me. Sargent Max Kannon hovered behind my chair, eyes focused down on me. “We need to talk,” he rumbled.
“There’s nothing to say. Nothing.”
He walked around our little seating arrangement and pulled up a chair. “You have to tell me what happened that night. Dean, I need to know. Was there anything going on with him at work?”
“Fuck, Kannon. No disrespect, but let me fucking breathe okay? You think this is easy?”
“We all lost him, Fury.”
“Really? He wasn’tlost. He did it himself. We didn’t take him to a bar and leave him. We didn’t go out on a warrant and watch him die a hero. He took his own life. That’s on him and me and all of us.”
The question I needed to know is why he didn’t come to me? How did I not see? How could I have failed him like that?
