Mine
Kira studied him as he drank from the limo’s minibar. He silently continued to fume, and though she hadn’t tried, she was sure he wouldn’t share his thoughts. Like most men in her life, they dealt with their anger and pain in destructive ways rather than constructively, and she had no interest in being part of the downfall.
At least she wasn’t the only one to see that it was Maxim’s pride that was coming between them. Along with the fact that he’s in love with another woman. Did Lazar know or suspect Maxim’s feelings for his wife? Kira doubted it. He was too friendly with his brother.
After the third pour of whiskey, Kira sighed, loudly, obnoxiously, and purposely. She wanted to spark a fight ifonly to find out what was on his mind. She suspected, but assumptions could only get her so far.
“Something wrong, Morozov?” He glanced at her. His eyes were bloodshot, but he was coherent at least.
“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”
He lay his head back against the seat and stared at the ceiling. “You know,” he sneered.
“Do I?”
“Don’t act obtuse. We both know you’re not.”
Kira nodded and chewed the inside of her lip. “You married me for my name and now resent yourself for it.”
Maxim darted his dark eyes to her. She smiled warmly and said nothing, turning to the window. He leaned up and got another glass of liquor before sitting back. “Do you know what it’s like for a man to marry higher than his station? For a woman, it is the best possible situation, because it would only elevate her in the social climate. But for a man, it degrades me. It makes me weak. They see it as if I don’t have enough merit to make it on my own. They speak to me like I’m witless, joining spaces I don’t have the education to be in.”
Kira nodded, but she didn’t agree with him. She thought about staying silent, but how could she get more out of him if she didn’t speak? “I think it’s your attitude that makes you weak.”
He grit his teeth but forced himself to swallow the liquor before he slammed his cup down.
Kira flinched, but she refused to be deterred. She wanted to scream at him, ‘Why did you marry me then?’ but he had already answered that. He was forced to. And now he had to endure the aftermath of that choice. “Why can’t you prove them wrong?”
“I was proving them wrong when I was the only black man at the table for the last ten years. Now I’m back where I started, and it’s hell. All because of you. Let me be, woman. I’m tired.”Maxim closed his eyes and lay down in the seat with a hand over his eyes.
Kira always wanted to be the kind of woman who uplifted her husband and the one he came to on a bad day to get renewed. She felt that now pull at her, and she clenched her fingers together to keep from reaching out.
Now, whose pride is keeping them back?
With a deep breath, Kira hopped over to the next seat beside him. He popped his head up, twisting to look at her, and she scooted under him. When he tried to sit up, she had a hand on his shoulder to pull him back. “Relax.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just lie down.”
Stiff and unsure, he rested his head back against her thigh. Her finger glided over his thick hair, down his temple, and scratched at his beard. Over and over, she did this till her ministrations relaxed him and all the tension slipped out of his body.
Kira allowed herself to stare at his face. He kept his eyes closed as her fingers rubbed his jaw. When he wasn’t talking down to her, he was beautiful. He had a perfect nose and lips. She thought about touching them. About what they would feel like on her skin. All she had was that one perfect kiss on the day they were married, but it was so long ago now that she couldn’t quite remember it. Only how it made her feel, and those feelings were stirring in her gut again. It was all lust she knew. She thought it was love in the beginning, so sure she was imagining their happily ever after. But now she wasn’t sure what she felt. It was depleting, like a water well going dry.
There were many things she did like about him. He was articulate. He was passionate. He had ambition and goals he wanted to reach. There were even moments tonight where she thought he was funny. She didn’t know if that was just actingin the presence of people he wanted business from, but it didn’t matter. He knew what to say and how to say it to get people on his side. He was very convincing. So why couldn’t he do that with her? Why couldn’t he have her on his side? She was very gullible. She’d fall for it in a heartbeat. And even if he didn’t love her, she would believe he did, and she could live like that for a long time.
“Trina’s cheating on my brother,” Maxim heard himself say. He didn’t know why he was sharing this. It was private, something he’s never said out loud. The only person he ever confided in was his brother, but this was obviously something he kept within himself. It was boiling inside him, destroying parts of himself. He told himself it was marrying above his station that was turning him into a terrible person, but it wasn’t. It was Trina’s betrayal. It was his mother’s betrayal. Their actions were wounds on him that were only getting worse, and as the pain amplified, so did his attitude.
It wasn’t fair to Kira. But her lies put her in this position. If she had only said the truth, he wouldn’t have grouped her in with all the women in his life who betrayed him.
“I’m not in love with her. I’m pissed at her.”
The reveal brought such relief that Kira sank into the seat. But it made her sad, too. She thought the real reason he was staying away from her was because of Trina. But if that wasn’t it, maybe he really didn’t like her. For some reason, his being in love with Trina, though terrible, sounded better than his hating her for being a Morozov, because one was fixable, but the other wasn’t.
Either way, she should be thankful he shared that with her. “Maybe he knows.”
“I doubt it.”
“That’s why he keeps hitting on me.” She hoped the words would make it through this time, but Maxim snorted, their moment of connection coming to an abrupt end.
