Luerna had a hand on his arm, feeling every move he made as he fingered her. She panted and struggled to keep to her feet as her knees began to shake. She never felt such desire before. Having sex with Rurik was like a pap smear, something she was obligated to do whenever he got too drunk at a card game. It wasn’t enjoyable, but it wasn’t unbearable. She went through it, waiting for it to be over, pretending the way she was taught to. She thought that was normal. She was made to believe that was normal.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Make me feel alive.”
He smiled into her skin.
“You don’t get it,” Luerna whispered. She turned in his arms and met the shine of his eyes. “You fight for me. You see me. You aren’t scared of my craziness. I haven’t done anything to earn it. I’ve been mean and terrible, and sometimes I hate everything I am.”
He licked his lips and swallowed as he ran his fingers through her hair. “You earned it, Luerna, in everything you do for your family and everything that you have sacrificed. You have earned all that I want to provide for you. I want to take away all your suffering. All your pain.”
“I didn’t think that kind of love existed.”
Levka kissed her lips and lingered against her skin.
Levka left in the morning, and Luerna stayed in Paris for two more days, simply enjoying her time. She found that ideas flowed to her in record timing when she could think of something besides her kids. She had thoughts about the charities. She knew exactly what she wanted to do to help the family and wrote dozens of ideas down on the flight home.
Luerna rushed out of the car and ran into the house, desperate to see her children, but it was a school day, and they’d be with the tutor. She sank a little like a puppy in a kennel, but only for a moment until she entered the living room.
Alexei and Gil were watching TV on the couch, and she dived in between them, kissing their cheeks and grinning. They stared at her as if she sprung an extra head and she laughed. She wondered if they remembered how she used to kiss their cheeks if only to embarrass them in front of their friends. They used to run from her whenever she was near because they knew it was only a matter of time before she got ahold of them and smothered them in affection. That was before marriage. Before she changed into this miserable person that couldn’t smile without effort.
Luerna rested her head against Alexei with her legs stretched out on Gil’s lap, who slapped her thigh, squeezing it till she squealed. “All you needed was a good fuck. Nobody ever believes me. It’s the cure, I’m telling you.”
She snapped her head toward him in panic. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing!” Alexei interrupted, slapping Gil on the shoulder. “Nothing.”
Gil pretended to seal his lips and threw away the key.
Did they all know? Had Adrik told them? Would he tell their father? Of course he would. Why did she think he would actually keep a secret from him?
Alexei pressed his lips against her ear. “Your secret is safe, Luerna. Don’t worry.”
“How do you know?”
“Who do you think got you the hotel? Adrik just orders shit. I don’t remember the last time he scheduled anything.” He pulled her back against him and kissed her temple. “Levka is a good man.”
Gil snorted. “A brown-noser, but sure, yeah, good guy.”
Rurik entered the room, and Luerna snapped her head up, wide and fearful. He paused to look at her brothers, but then decided he didn’t care and reached between them to haul her to her feet. “Where the fuck were you?”
Gil was behind her, holding her by the other arm. “You better let my sister go.”
“Shut up, this doesn’t concern you.” Rurik yanked her again, away from them and entirely in front of him. “Where the fuck were you?”
“Let go of me!” she bit, slapping at his hand, but he only squeezed her bicep tighter.
Alexei pulled a gun and aimed it at his head. “Let her go.”
Rurik sneered. “She’s my wife. Your father gave her to me, and that means I do what the fuck I want with her, boy. Sit down and stay out of it.”
“Rurik,” Adrik’s voice came from behind. He stood in the doorway, eating an apple, leaning against the frame.
Rurik cursed as he shoved Luerna on the couch. Alexei stepped in front of her, keeping the gun trained at Rurik’s head while Gil tended to her arm, keeping her tight against him. Rurik turned to Adrik. “Want me to tell your father you have a gun to my head?”
Adrik chewed slowly, watching him. He flicked a finger, and Alexei ground his teeth before he lowered it.
