“I’m sorry.”
It was the last thing she wanted to hear and the only thing. It was a stab to the heart that nearly crumbled her resolve, but she didn’t want to cave so quickly. Three years she spent hating him. He wasn’t allowed to fix it in three seconds. “You’re sorry?” Luerna twisted her lips as the words fell out. She turned to him. He was unreadable, guarded, unsure where he stood in her life, which should be obvious. He was nowhere. “You came into my life, made me think I was fucking special. Made me think there was someone out there that loved me. You gave me hope. You gave me something to look forward to every day. You became–” She cut herself off because she didn’t want to give him anymore power. She didn’t want to be weakened any further. “And you just walked out. Left me like I was so easily forgotten.”
“I never forgot you. Not one fucking day.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
Her anger triggered him, and Levka broke. “I don’t know what kind of man you think I am if you think I can ignore your bruises, ignore your tears, ignore every time you got on the phone and I knew he had just got done fucking you. I had to leave, Luerna, or I would have burned your fucking house to the ground to get to you. I would have killed us.”
“You have killed us. There’s nothing here anymore. I came for closure. And I got it. Goodbye, Levka.”
Luerna pulled the door open, but Levka came from over her shoulder and slammed it shut. She looked up at him to find him an inch from her. “I was a stupid boy thinking I could have you. Twice I attempted, and twice I was knocked down. But I won’t be knocked down again, Luerna. I have built up my family better than it was before. I can finally fight against your father and Rurik on even ground.”
A smug little chuckle broke her lips. “No, you can’t.”
Her lack of confidence in him was a slap in the face. Anger flashed in his gaze, and he dropped his hand. He stepped back, silent in his stare. She tried not to care about hurting him, but guilt crept up inside her anyway. “I’m sorry,” she amended. “But they’re never going to be beaten, Levka. And I never expected you to try.”
Confusion swept over his face. “What did you expect, then? That we would carry on in secret?”
“Yes, actually.”
Levka huffed with a laugh, turning away from her. He stared at the wall, all the muscles in his back were tense. There was a giant tribal tattoo on his shoulder blade. Despite him being upset with her, she admired his beauty. He was a gorgeous man meant for someone else.
Levka turned to her. “Just so we are clear, what you wanted was to remain in your house with your husband. Let him beat you when he wants. Let him fuck you when he wants. Let him talk down to you, control you, destroy you. And I’m at your beck and call, loving you when you get a chance to sneak away.”
His naivete pissed her off. “Of course, it’s not what I want. But we’ve had this discussion before. It doesn’t matter what I want. I’m at the mercy of my family. I did what was expected of me. This is what real power looks like, Levka. The power over others, to determine their fate, to control what they do and how they think. I never wanted you to risk your life for mine. That was never my intention, and if that’s what you thought I wanted, I’m sorry you misread me.”
It was another slap, and Levka approached. “Do you know what I’ve done to get here? Do you know the people I’ve hurt? The people I’ve killed? The debts I owe, and the sacrifices I’ve made? And you have the audacity to tell me I‘misread’you?”
Luerna bowed her head to hide her tears. Three years ago, Levka provoked a dumb dream in her. She almost thought she could escape her life, and go off with him to some exotic land, and forget whose blood ran through her veins. She could be a normal woman with a picket fence and no guns under the bed. He brought dreams that stupid young girls want for their future. But then he left, it shattered those fantasies.
She should be grateful. He saved her from her delusions.
No one was going to save her.
No one loved her enough to try.
And she didn’t love herself enough to let them.
His fingertips touched her chin. She swatted it away, repulsed by his attempt. But he tried again, cupping her cheek, and she foolheartedly let him. She didn’t want to feel his hands or the reality that after three years he came back, admitted that he still thought of her everyday. With such cliche declarations, she was falling for it.
Was she that desperate?
“I’m coming for you, Luerna–”
“Don’t say that.”
“I’m coming for you and your kids.”
“No,” she whimpered as the tears broke over and split down her cheeks. “I’m not worth it.”
Levka leaned down. His lips lined up with hers. So close to her face she could see his lashes, watched as his gaze drifted around her face, taking in every inch of her. “You are a ray of sunshine, Mrs. Morozov.” He kissed her, softly, hesitantly, barely a whisper. He waited for her, waited for her to close the gap between them, giving her the control she had with nothing else.
Luerna fell into him, her lips pressed harshly to his as her arms slipped around his neck. He embraced her, pulling her to him, and there was a breath of relief between the two of them as their walls crumbled and their defenses failed.
Kissing him sparked life into her chest. It brought joy. If either of them was a ‘ray of sunshine’ it was him. He was the first sign of life in a desolate world. He was the sound of a heartbeat after an accident. She clung to him like he was breathing for her.
Levka pulled apart, holding her face as they panted against each other. “I love you, Luerna. I love all of you. There’s no stopping it or changing it. It’s you or nothing.”
