Chapter one
Meet
Luernaneversawherselfas a mother. When she was a young girl, she had plenty of dreams of being the CEO of one of her father’s many companies. She already had her college of choice picked out at fifteen, wearing Moscow University hoodies on crazy cold days in Russia.
But when the family required you to give up parts of yourself, you did it. No questions. No begging. Even when they asked you to marry a man twenty years older than you. You did it.
And that was a woman’s role in a mafia family: a sacrificial pawn.
Luerna laid on the couch with one baby sucking at her breast while its twin was asleep between her legs. It was postpartum depression that was attacking her now. Two weeks after birth, her emotions were a terrible mess. She didn’t know night from day and had no self-worth other than being a designated milk machine. On top of the things she never saw in her life, breastfeeding was up there. Luerna imagined that if she had children, she’d at least have a wet nurse like her mother, but her husband didn’t like that idea. Rurik wanted his children to have the absolute best. He didn’t care if Luerna was mentally unstable, barely keeping her head above the surface.
But I don’t matter, do I?
It was a stupid thought. Of course, she mattered. Who would get their older kids ready for school? Who would cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner? The family maid, Silvia, had strict guidelines to follow. ‘No one else will raise our children,’ her husband declared.
Then he hires a tutor,Luerna snickered. But she wasn’t going to point out this flaw.A win is a win.
Luerna moaned in pain. Her breasts were constantly full, and they ached like overused muscles. The twins sucked every hour in their cluster-feeding phase. She hadn’t bothered to get off the couch since she put her other children to bed. There was a tray of snacks beside her stocked with water, peanuts, and chocolate. It wasn’t the best diet, but currently, it was her only one. She didn’t have time to cook. And even if she did, she’d use it to sleep.
Luerna rubbed a tear off her cheek. Feeling sorry for herself was unlike her, and she tried to combat it. She was a positive thinker, never holding grudges or hating the life she had. She enjoyed being the daughter of a mafia boss. The money was addicting. This house she grew up in was worth twenty million dollars and held every beautiful artifact collected by her family over the years. But none of these fantastic artifacts could help her hold her babies in a moment like this.
Luerna looked down at her phone. She could call her mother. Ask her for help, and no doubt Tatianna would come running with her high heels and painted face, talking about what a gorgeous day it was outside and how they must go for a stroll. But Luerna didn’t want her mother. Tatianna was a picture, lifeless and unfeeling, and Luerna didn’t need a reminder of her future.
Instead, Luerna thought to phone her sister, Kira. Six years younger, unmarried, no kids, she was Luerna’s best friend, and currently upstairs writing a paper for school. Kira was a unique soul, believing in the cosmos and energy of the planet. She’d know how to handle this ridiculous bout of depression. Maybe there was some spiritual-scented candle that could suck the negativity out.
Luerna moved, and her baby popped off her breast and instantly started crying. “No, it’s okay.” Luerna desperately grabbed the back of the baby’s head and directed him back to her nipple. After a hard suck that nearly made her cry, the baby latched back on, desperate for every last drop. Luerna fell back against the couch and put a hand over her mouth to stop her sudden sob.
“Wow.”
Luerna snapped her head to the doorway. To her horror, a man stood there. Luerna snatched a burping rag from the back of the couch and draped it over her chest, “Excuse me! You don’t just walk in here while I’m breastfeeding, you sicko.”
He tilted his head to the side. “I can’t see anything. Relax.”
The light from the TV shined on her like a spotlight. “Get out.”
“Mrs. Morozov, do you know who I am?”
Luerna focused on him, but she couldn’t make out his face in the shadows. He dressed like every other mafia man she’s ever met—in a nice, tailored suit with a white undershirt and pointy shoes. And they all felt as entitled as this little creep. “You are in my home, interrupting a very private moment. I don’t care who you are. Get out before I tell my husband you were spying on me.”
To her surprise, he stepped further into the room. “How old are they?”
Luerna eyed him with a sneer. The light from the TV exposed a little more to his features and it was clear he was an attractive man. He seemed familiar but she couldn’t pinpoint where she had seen him. “Two weeks.”
“Their names?”
“Dasha and Kolya.”
He leaned over her to watch the little one sleeping between her legs. “Can you tell them apart?”
“Not yet,” Luerna embarrassingly admitted. “I draw on their feet.”
He smiled with a suppressed laugh. “Have you gotten it wrong yet?”
Luerna haughtily stuck up her chin, refusing to answer. But then it slipped out. “Maybe.”
He chuckled and met her gaze.
Luerna’s eyes widened when she took note of the dark tattoo creeping up his neck. “Oh, God.” The ring on his left hand only verified it. Luerna glanced around stupidly, realizing how awful she looked and trying to find some way to fix it. She imagined it probably smelled like body odor and old milk. She hadn’t showered in two days. She touched her knotted blond hair, wondering what to do with it.
