“They aren’t coming until August this year, and it’s only late June, so we have a while, and they usually sleep in the guest room. But we’ll figure things out when they do visit. Don’t worry.”
Bazel nodded. “Maybe I not be here anymore,” he said softly. Atlas knew that was a possibility, but he didn’t want to think about it. “If Chris helps with getting me a job….”
“Apartments are expensive and can take time to find.” He didn’t like the idea of Bazel moving out, and yet he wasn’t going to pressure him into staying. That wasn’t his place, so he said nothing more.
Evie ran ahead as they broke out of the woods, found a stick, and trotted back to them. She held it up, and Atlas threw it. She raced after it and came back, going to Bazel, her gaze expectant. Sometimes his dog was better at expressing herself than Atlas was. He needed to try to explain things to Bazel, but it was hard, and he was finding it tough to come up with the words, especially since, above all, anything that happened between them had to be Bazel’s choice.
It would be easy for him to pressure Bazel into staying with him and in his bed. He wanted that more than anything, but if he did that, then he’d be taking advantage of Bazel. He had never done that to anyone in his life, and he wasn’t going to start now.
“Penny for thoughts?” Bazel reached into his pocket and handed Atlas a penny he must have found on the ground. “Your face is all scrunchy.”
“Okay.” He forced himself to relax. He was here with Bazel and Evie and they were having a nice day out. He didn’t need tospoil it with his running-in-circles thoughts. Things would work themselves out one way or another. “Is that better?”
Bazel watched him. “Yes. You less thinky.” He picked up the stick and threw it for Evie as though his pronouncement was the end of the subject. “Now we eat?”
“Yes.” He guided Bazel over to the truck. Bazel got the bag while Atlas carried over the cooler. There was a picnic area with covered tables near the lake. They picked a good spot with a wonderful view of the sparkling water. Atlas set up the table and began pulling out the food. Bazel took over and handed him a bottle of water and a bowl for Evie. She lapped up what he poured, and Atlas added some more for her.
Once Bazel had everything set out the way he wanted it, they sat and began eating. “Did you make all this?”
“No. Some of it I bought at the grocery store.” Atlas hadn’t had time, and he wasn’t so sure how his macaroni or potato salad would turn out. “Do you like it?” Bazel tasted some of each and nodded. Atlas got out the chicken sandwiches for each of them.
“It real nice here,” Bazel said as he looked around. “Quiet. Where I come from it never quiet. Always people and lots of noise. Men sit on corner talking… always talking about what is happening. My mother worrying sometimes. My father working and worrying. It was hard time to live there. But we did. Father work hard, but we not have much. It not fair, but Father say it is what is.” He took a bite of his sandwich. “I want more than is what is.”
It took Atlas a second to parse what Bazel was saying, and then he smiled. “I want that for you too.”
He sighed and they grew quiet, though not in an uncomfortable way. It was pleasant and a chance to just listen to the wind and the birds as they called from the trees. There was no one else in their section of the park, so it was just them, andthe birds seemed to put on a show. Evie settled in the shade near his feet as they finished their lunch.
“My mother always said that I had to wait a half an hour after eating before I could go in the water. I remember finishing my last bite and then watching the clock, willing it to go faster so I could go out to swim with my friends.” Atlas smiled.
“Sometimes, when I was small, we used to go to a lake for a sort of holiday and I would be able to go swimming. I always loved it.”
Atlas set a bag on the table bench and pulled out a bathing suit that was small for him. “I brought you something you can swim in. I hope it isn’t too big.” He handed it to Bazel, who raced away to the restroom building to change. Atlas couldn’t help smiling… something he did a lot of when Bazel was around. He was just so full of joy and general happiness that he tended to brighten everything around him. Atlas put away what was left of their lunch and carried it to the truck. Then he got his own suit and took a few seconds to change.
When Bazel joined him, his warm skin almost glowing in the sun, Atlas stared at his lean body, remembering how it felt against him at night. He immediately pushed those thoughts away.
“Is this okay?” He looked down at himself, and Atlas swallowed hard.
“It’s more than okay,” Atlas’s throat was suddenly dry. “Come on, let’s go swim.” He called Evie as well before racing toward the water. It was cool, but it was what he needed to quell the heat inside him. Bazel walked in more gingerly, and only once he was up to his waist did he slowly sink into the water before swimming out to where Atlas was treading water.
“It’s cold.” Bazel said.
“Maybe to you. But this isn’t bad for this time of year. Later in the summer it will get warmer.” He swam deeper for a littlewhile and laughed as Evie swam up next to him. “She loves the water. Don’t you, girl?” Atlas asked as Evie paddled around him and then went back toward shore, shaking out as she climbed onto the bank. Then she shook again before lying in the grass to dry. “Do you like it?”
“Yes,” Bazel said and began swimming toward the center of the lake. He seemed happy, and Atlas watched him as he treaded water. Soon Bazel swam fast, getting his rhythm. It was a beautiful thing to watch, and when Bazel returned to where he waited, he was grinning, “I miss this.”
“You swim well. Did you have lessons?”
He shook his head. “My father teach me.”
“He did a really good job. You swim a lot better than I do.” It must be a natural gift. Atlas had taken swimming lessons a number of times, and he had hoped to join the swim team in school, but he wasn’t good enough to make it. His dad had pushed him hard, and Atlas knew that his not making the team was a disappointment to his dad, but he never said anything about it other than to tell Atlas that as long as he had done his best, that was good enough. His father was putting the best face on it, but Atlas knew he’d let his dad down. “You can swim all the time at the Y. They have an indoor pool.”
Bazel smiled. “Does that mean I get another card?” He seemed tickled by that.
“In a way, yes. Let me talk to Chris about it. It costs money, but she might have some resources to help you.” And if Bazel stayed, then Atlas could add Bazel to his membership. “Are you ready to get out?”
Bazel nodded and headed for shore. Once they were out of the water, Atlas pulled large towels out of the beach bag and gave one to Bazel to wrap up in and get dry. “Can I change into clothes?”
“Sure. Go on.” He hurried away, and Atlas sat in the sun with Evie to dry off. It felt good, and he closed his eyes, lightly stroking Evie’s damp back. “This was a really good day.” She nuzzled his hand when he stopped petting her. “You like Bazel… I know you do. I like him too.” Maybe it was time to speak with Chris about what was happening. He needed some advice, and she was the best at that sort of thing.
