“I make something for Evie too,” Bazel said and jumped up. He went to the refrigerator and pulled out a small container. “I had extra chicken, so I cooked it for her with no spice.” He showed it to Atlas. “See.”
“You can put some in her dish, and she can have more tomorrow. It’s nice as a treat, but Evie has to get her food mostly from me. It’s part of her training and reinforces the bond between the two of us.”
“Can you get another dog? Like a non-work dog?”
Atlas nodded. “Most of the other officers I know have other dogs as pets. I’ve thought of getting one, but it wouldn’t be fair with my work schedule. Evie and I would go to work, and the other dog would be left at home for the day. A lot of the other officers have kids and partners, so it isn’t an issue. Maybe someday when I find someone special….” He hoped Bazel understood what he meant. “Then I could get another dog.”
Bazel put some of the chicken in Evie’s dish, and she gobbled it up. “You good dog. You keep bad people away.”
“She really does like you. I dated a man two years ago. When Evie didn’t like him, I knew he was not the right person for me.” He hadn’t really been too fond of dogs, and that just wasn’t going to fly. When they first met, Reggie had even asked how long he would stay in K-9 and it if was possible for him to move into something else. Of course Evie hadn’t liked him. It turned out that Atlas hadn’t either, but Evie knew it first.
“Because of her?” He seemed surprised.
Atlas nodded. “She and I are a team, and I am not giving her up for someone I date, or anyone for that matter. She is too important and too special. And she’s a better judge of character than I am.”
“Then it’s a good thing she likes me.” He smiled and gently stroked Evie’s coat. She sat down, finished her treat, and then leaned against Bazel. “Do you think that someday I can get a dog like her?” He rested his head against Evie. She panted and sat still, soaking up the attention.
“Maybe someday you can get a dog of your own.” He didn’t want to say anything more than that. His first instinct had beento qualify the statement by saying once Bazel got a place of his own, but the words caught in his throat. He didn’t like that idea at all, and yet he had no right to feel that possessive. Of course Bazel would eventually get his feet under him and move into his own place. That was the goal, after all. Him staying here was supposed to be temporary… and yet Atlas was finding it harder and harder to envision the place without him. Bazel brought his house to life and made it seem so much more like a home. It was warmer and, damn it all, every time he came home Bazel was happy to see him.
“I hope so. I was scared of her at first, but now I’m not. And I see a lot of people with other dogs. I saw a lady today when Chris take me… took me to the store. It was light brown with really curly hair and really cute. The lady let me pet the dog, and he was very nice and rolled over so I could rub his belly. It was fun.” He was so excited, and Atlas couldn’t help feeling the same for him.
“I’m glad you aren’t afraid of them. Evie is well trained. Mostly at work she uses her nose, but she is trained to protect me. There are certain commands that will cause her to attack. Next week she and I go to a special place so we can work on that area of her training. It’s the hardest part. Mostly I want her to be gentle, but she is a police dog, so danger is part of the job, and I don’t want her getting hurt any more than I want to be put in harm’s way.”
Bazel ate some more, nodding slowly. “I’m sure she will do great. She did when she protected us.”
“Yeah. Wendell had no idea what he was in for when he broke in here.” That was for damned sure. Which kept assuring him that the guy was from out of town. And since he was injured, it wasn’t likely he would be back. Still, Atlas kept wondering what was behind all of this. Most people would cut their losses and let go. After all, the bigger a deal they made of a lost shipment, of any type, just brought more attention to it. Whathe really needed was more information, but it seemed he wasn’t going to get any.
“Can I visit the women again soon? I want to make sure they are okay,” Bazel asked.
“Yes. Chris called today. Some of their families are welcoming them back, and two of the women are going home. So I was hoping you could speak to them before they leave and see if they know any information that could help us.”
“Yes, of course. I want to say goodbye,” Bazel said. Atlas pulled out his phone and sent a message, getting an almost immediate response.
“She says that she will bring them to the coffee shop downtown at one tomorrow. I agree that is fine. Evie and I will pick you up and bring you there to see them.”
“Okay. I wish this were… that things were better.” He lowered his gaze once more, and Atlas hated that Bazel seemed to think this was his fault somehow.
“Things are pretty good.” It was his turn to be positive. “We found you, and you are here, in a safe place… and so are they. I know it isn’t an option for you, but some of their families welcoming them back is good. It means they can go where people love them. Chris will continue to help the others.”
Bazel nodded slowly “I know.” He peered upward, those deep brown eyes filling with sadness. “They will go home, and their families will love them.” He set down his fork and turned away before getting up from the table to leave the room. Atlas was unsure what he should do. His first instinct was to leave Bazel alone and give him a moment of privacy.
Evie followed him out, and after a minute, when Bazel didn’t return, Atlas found him in the living room on the sofa with Evie next to him, her head on his lap. She was pressed as close to him as possible, and Bazel had his eyes closed, tear trails drying on his cheeks.
“It will be okay.” God, the words sounded so damn hollow.
“How?” Bazel asked. “My family not love me and they will not again. I am here, alone, and I cannot go back.” He held Evie, burying his face in her fur. “What if they say I cannot stay? What if I have to return? There is nothing there for me.”
He didn’t have answers.
“I happy that they can go home. That is really good.”
“Do you want to go home?” Atlas asked, almost afraid of the answer.
“Home? There is no home. I have no home. I not want to go back, but I have no home here either. Maybe I am jealous… is that the word? I wish that someone loved me enough to want me back.”
Fuck, those few words nearly shattered Atlas’s heart. His parents had moved west for their retirement. He and Evie saw them a couple times a year. But he had no doubt that they loved him. Yes, they had had a difficult time accepting that their only son was gay. But his sister, who lived three miles from his parents in Scottsdale, had provided them with a grandson and a granddaughter, so the pressure was off him in the grandchild department. Still, to not have anyone…. “You have people who care for you.” He perched on the arm of the sofa. “Evie adores you.” She opened her eyes at her name but closed them again, soaking up the attention like a sponge. “And you’re going to build a life here. It just takes some time. And as for going back, Chris and I will do everything we can to help you stay. We want you to stay… I want you here.”
Bazel nodded, some of the pain leaching out of his eyes. “I sorry for being such a downer.”
