“I’m sorry about everything you went through,” Atlas said softly. “You shouldn’t have had to face all that.” The air fryer beeped, telling him to turn the food. He pulled out the basket and rolled the taquitos around before replacing it to continue heating. “I mean, how did you make it through all that? You have to be a very strong person.”
Bazel looked down and then grinned. “I not strong.” He was a slight man.
“I don’t mean strong like muscles. But strong here.” He lightly touched the center of Bazel’s chest. “You are strong on the inside. I like that. I know guys who are strong on the outside and weak on the inside. I would rather know someone like you any day.”
“So I strong.” He seemed to take in the meaning of what Atlas had said. At least he hoped so. “You strong on outside and inside. I like it too.” He sat down, and Atlas checked on the rest of dinner, trying not to put too much weight on what Bazel had said. The guy was really getting under his skin, and Atlaskept wondering if there was some meaning behind the way Bazel watched him, like he hung the moon or something.
Part of Atlas really liked being thought of that way. But he had to remind himself that he didn’t know Bazel very well and that any feelings beyond basic friendship were out of the question. Still, Bazel looked at him with those huge brown eyes, and it made him wonder. Most guys would have looked away, but Bazel kept watching him.
“Being strong is part of my job. It’s what a police officer is supposed to be.” It was what he wanted to be: strong for the people who needed him.
“The police back home, they not strong like you. They scared on the inside. They use their outside strength to hurt people and take what they want. None of them are like you. None of them help me.” He lowered his gaze.
Atlas turned off the air fryer when it beeped and left the food inside to keep it warm. “What did you need their help for?” Bazel turned away, looking at the floor, shaking his head. Then Atlas saw how his hands shook and his foot bounced as if he were under severe stress. “It’s okay. You don’t need to tell me. But I will help you, I promise.”
The cloud over Bazel lasted for a while. Atlas had just made mixed vegetables to go with the taquitos, and he set the plates on the table. Bazel sat, eyeing the food a little suspiciously, then he took a nibble and began to eat more quickly. “They hot.”
“Yes. Give them a few minutes.” He started on his veggies while the rest cooled. Atlas tried to think of something to talk about, but nothing came to mind, so he sat quietly and ate as Bazel did the same.
AFTER DINNER,Atlas turned on the television and sat with Evie. Bazel wandered in and sat down as well, after lingering in thekitchen for a long time. Atlas figured he needed time to think, so he gave him the privacy of quiet and his own thoughts.
“The people in my town do not like me,” Bazel said.
Atlas wanted to ask questions but held back. Sometimes it was best to just let others talk without interrupting. He moved over on the sofa, knowing Evie would move as well and give Bazel some room.
“I….” Bazel lowered his gaze, and tension filled him to the point that Atlas could almost feel it himself.
“Things are different here. We don’t necessarily think about things the same way. So let me ask you. Did you kill someone?”
Bazel shook his head.
“Then it can’t be that bad.”
“It bad,” Bazel whispered. “There was this other… man… he…. He older, but I like him and he like me.”
Atlas figured he would make it as easy on Bazel as possible. “Did you love him? Did he love you?”
“He say he love me, and he show me things I never know. Everyone say wrong, but it not feel wrong. When I explained to Papa, he have him… beaten. Then he push me away. He say that I not a man and not son no more.” Tears ran down his cheeks. “He say I bad.”
Atlas sighed softly, relieved and horrified at the same time. That Bazel’s family would do that to him hurt Atlas to his heart. But he understood. That happened here in this country too, which was a lot more accepting of things like that than they were in Bazel’s family’s part of the world. “I understand, and you aren’t bad. You’re gay. At least that’s the word we have for it here. You’re gay if you are a man and you love other men instead of women. And it’s okay. Do you remember the other officer who was with me when we found you?”
“The one in the brown?” Bazel asked.
“Yes. He has a husband who is a very good man, and they are raising Callum, their son, together. They love each other very much.” He hoped Wyatt wouldn’t mind being used as an example, and the last thing he wanted to do was blurt out that he was gay. Not that he was in the closet or anything, but he didn’t want Bazel to feel pressured or overwhelmed. “There are others in town as well.”
Bazel looked like his mind had been blown.
“I think it’s important that you know that I’m gay too. I prefer men to women.” It was the easiest way he could explain it. “Some people like both.”
“Both what?” Bazel asked.
“Men and women. But I like men. I think you should know.”
Bazel’s mouth hung open. “Why you not say? I scared you hate me. But you same like me.” He sat back. “Do we have sex now?” Bazel sat at the other end of the sofa, almost like he was trying to disappear into the cushions.
Now it was Atlas’s turn to be confused and more than a little taken aback, bordering on horrified if Bazel had needed to repay kindness with sex. “No. Just because two people are gay doesn’t mean they will just have sex.” Not that Atlas would have minded. Bazel was a beautiful man, and for Atlas to say he wasn’t attracted would be a huge lie, but he wasn’t going to go there. Not at a time like this. “There is more to it than that.”
“Oh.”
