He leans down, using his chest to pin my torso to the bed,his hot, putrid breath enveloping my nostrils. His face is still in shadow as he speaks.
“Emma!” His voice doesn’t quite sound right, and I thrash against him.
“Em!” the voice calls, more frantic, and my eyes open as I bolt up to sitting. Alyx wraps his big arms around me, and I sink against him. “Shit, Em, you scared me. You were screaming so loud. Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” he says as he rubs up and down my spine, soothing me as my heart rate slowly returns to normal.
A small light illuminates the room briefly, and he reaches over to grab my phone, answering it with a swipe and holding it up between us. My sister’s face fills the screen.
“Ew, why is Alyx touching you?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.
“Fuck you, Ella.”
“Hello to you, too, Alyx,” she shoots back with a smirk. “At least tell me he’s clothed.”
“For fuck’s sake,” he mutters, shaking his head in exasperation.
“Seriously, though, the man-child texted me that you were having another nightmare. You okay?” I see Alyx roll his eyes in the little picture of us on the bottom of the screen.
“I’m going to give you two a minute,” he says, resting his cheek on my head as he hugs me.
“Need to get back to your flavor of the week?” my sister quips, and my eyes shoot up to his, silently asking him if he has company over. He shakes his head vehemently, and I instantly relax. I don’t care who he hooks up with, but I’m not in a place to be around any houseguests.
“How’s Chad?” he retorts, and I swear I can see the steam billowing from Ella’s ears as he exits the room, closing the door behind him.
These two have been like this ever since Alyx told Ella thatshe couldn’t hang out with him and Ethan when the guys were teenagers.
“Okay, now that Sir Comes-a-lot is gone, talk to me. He said you had another nightmare?”
I nod as I lean over to turn on the lamp next to the bed, propping the phone against it and cuddling into my blankets.
“Wanna talk about it?”
I shake my head as I shove my hand under the pillow, getting comfortable.
“Want me to come get you? Dad finally let me get my license last week. It’s bullshit, I’m almost seventeen. I could steal his car and be there in an hour.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll be okay,” I say, hoping she won’t do something stupid but also wishing she would so she could cuddle me. “Can you just tell me a story until I fall back asleep?”
“I got you, Em,” she says softly as she launches into a rant about Dad and not living up to his expectations. I respond at the appropriate parts until my eyelids get heavy and I can’t hold them open anymore.
——————
When I emerge from Ethan’s bedroom the next morning, Alyx is in the kitchen at the stove.
I only recently discovered his secret job. I’d spent weeks researching ways to solve my touching issue, reading everything I could to find a solution, and months talking to my therapist about it before I finally decided on my own version of immersion therapy—I haven’t shared that part with my therapist yet, but I’m sure she’ll be fine with it when she hears about my progress. But when Alyx reached into his wallet to hand me his bus pass and accidentally gave me his membership card to Pulse, I knew I could talk to him about it.
He was not thrilled with the idea of me hooking up withsome random sex worker and suggested I meet someone he trusted at Pulse instead.
“I made breakfast sandwiches. It’s just egg, cheese, and bacon on toast. I forget, do you drink coffee?” Alyx asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yes, please.” My voice is still adjusting to being awake, a little hoarse from the nightmare screaming.
“Is that how you normally sound in the morning? Like a bullfrog?” He grins as he hands me a plate and a mug.
“Jerk,” I mutter as he ruffles my hair.
“Yeah, but you love me.” He takes a comically large bite, and yolk drips down his undershirt.
“You’re a mess.” I point to the stain on his shirt, and he whips it off, tossing it onto the counter.
