She chews on her lip. “I’m still working on myself, my past trauma, and how it’s still affecting me. I need you to be patient with me. It’s not your job to fix me, I understand that. Even though I’ve come so far, I may have moments where I struggle with touch or have nightmares. I don’t want you to think…” she trails off, dropping her head.
I slide a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me. “You are incredible. Strong when others would be weak. I’m so fucking proud of you. I would never think anything less than that,” I assure her, leaning in to kiss her softly.
When I pull back, her eyes are misty and I look at her pleadingly, hoping she’ll see the sincerity in my face. “Rule two. Consent isn’t negotiable. Saying ‘yes’ isn’t a forever ‘yes.’ You can change your mind at any time without guilt or punishment. Your safety and emotional health are far too important to me.”
“So I can use my safe word at any time, and you’ll walk away?”
“If that’s what you need, yes. I will do anything you ask of me.”
She thinks for a second. “I know one of your rules was that I be honest with you, but I want you to be honest with me. I get why you couldn’t be for so long, but now that I know who you are, there’s no reason to keep secrets anymore.”
If she only knew what I was still keeping from her.
I swallow thickly, chewing on the inside of my cheek, trying to figure out what to share. I can’t tell her everything, but I need to give her something. “I will tell you what I can. I promise I will tell you everything eventually, but if I keep something from you, I need you to understand that there’s a reason for it. I may not be allowed to tell you for legal or safety reasons. And I understand that’s cryptic as fuck, but there are aspects of my life that I cannot share right now.”
“Like what you do at the club? Are you still seeing other subs?”
My shoulders relax when she doesn’t press further, instead letting her jealousy steer the conversation. “I’m not seeing anyone currently, and the last few clients I’ve taken on have been couples that I’ve only coached. I haven’t had any other subs since I met you. You’re it for me, Emma.”
“What does that mean for us now? Can we be together? Out in the open?”
I pull her against me, wishing I could grant her that and give myself to her fully the way she deserves. “I’m still a professor, and you’re still a student. It’s not that simple. But I promise, that when I can, when it’s safe, I will shout it from the rooftops and cherish you openly the way you deserve. But, for now, the rules still apply.”
CHAPTER 32
EMMA
Now that I know that John is Daddy Dom, we’ve yet to visit the club, and that fact just feels plain wrong. I want to experience it all, without him holding back.
And sneaking around on campus is getting increasingly difficult when we both have roommates. Not to mention the creep that’s leaving me letters. I haven’t gotten any since the threatening one, and I’m hoping that means that whoever it was has lost interest.
When we walk into the club a week later, I’m elated to finally get my wish: to see John unleash his true, full inner dom.
He leads me down the darkened hallway toward his private room, his hand pressed to my lower back, guiding me. Once I enter his room and he closes the door behind me, the noise of the club is muted and his crisp, masculine scent permeates my senses as he towers over me.
“Every word I utter is a command I expect you to follow. Every pause is deliberate. Intentional. I need your total obedience. Not just your body.” He swipes a thumb across my forehead. His touch is featherlight. Delicate. “Don’t think about anything else. Don’t daydream. Don’t let your mind wander. IfI sense you pulling away, I’ll bring you back. I don’t want part of your mind, half of your focus, or some of your attention. I want itall. It’s mine. Nod if you understand.”
I nod quickly.
He grabs my hand, guiding me across the room to a device that looks like a padded picnic table, but smaller. “This is called a horse bench. Remove your clothing and straddle the top and put your weight on your hands and knees.”
“Yes, sir.” I undress and then he takes my hand, steadying me as I climb onto the contraption.
His fingertips graze my calves in measured strokes. “Clear your mind and concentrate on my touch. Focus only on the spots where you can feel me.”
My nerve endings come alive everywhere his fingers roam. The bottoms of my feet, the sides of my calves, the backs of my legs. His fingers pause along the crease of my inner thigh, teasing me in a slow caress. A whimper escapes me.
“Do you know how sexy you look right now heeding my every command?” His hot breath tickles the hairs at my nape. “I’m going to restrain you now,” he says, his hands never leaving my body as they trail down each of my limbs while he cuffs me to the bench.
He steps away, and I miss his touch instantly. I can hear him opening drawers and cabinets on the other side of the room, and I focus on my breathing and the arousal gathering in my belly.
There is nothing I want more than for him to touch me. Craving his touch on my skin. Desperate to feel the press of his lips on me. Shivering as his tongue traces every curve of my body. I never thought I would get to this point with anyone.
“Focus on the sound of my voice. The weight of my fingers on you. The bite of the leather against your skin,” he says as a new sensation lights up my senses.
I jerk my head in his direction, “Wh–what is that?”
He pops my backside lightly with the implement. “I gave you a command, pet, and it didn’t involve you speaking.”
