“Ugh, Professor A-hole. He’s the last person I want to think about right now. I’m just glad I never have to see his stupid handsome face ever again.”
CHAPTER 19
JOHN
Idecided to pick up a few summer classes. Anything to take my mind off the mess I put myself in or the coward I’ve become. I’m keeping my head down, sticking to my rules, and honoring the commitments I made before this bewitching woman entered my life.
Before Emma, following the rules was easy. Sure, I’d bend them from time to time, but it was always for the greater good. Like breaking the speed limit to rush someone to the hospital.
But the longer she’s in my life, however, the more I find myself breaking my rules, taking bigger risks that could not only ruin my life, but the lives of others as well. If word got out that I was involved with a student, I could lose my job. And Mary depends on me, and not just for her housing situation. Her friendship is important to me, and her safety is paramount.
In so many ways, Emma reminds me of Mary. They’ve both overcome abuse at the hands of a man they should have been safe with. They both came to me for help, but under much different circumstances. And they both love fiercely and want to help others. I think if they met, they’d be friends.
Walking away from Emma was necessary, but it feels likethe worst mistake I’ve ever made. I can’t come clean with her, not now, and she deserves my honesty. She deserves someone who can take her out, treat her right—in public and in private. And that’s not me, not right now—maybe one day, but I can’t ask her to wait.
Hell, I can’t even walk into my private room at the club without thinking about her, and she’d only been there a handful of times. But fuck if Emma wasn’t the perfect natural submissive for me. My good little pet. Even though I’m now only seeing couples for coaching sessions at the club, I keep expecting her to walk in my door, yet she never does.
I’m keeping myself busy so I don’t have time to think about her, but there aren’t enough clients I could take on at Pulse, not enough classes I could teach to erase her from my mind completely.
I pull up the classroom portal to double-check my roster for any last-minute additions. Relief washes over me when I don’t see Emma’s name. Not that I was really expecting to. I was successful in my mission to drive her away from my professor persona, determined to make her hate me so she didn’t figure out who I really was. But we only saw each other in person a handful of times last year, most of which were in a dark club, and when we spoke, I either wore my mask with the built-in modulator, or I masked my voice. I even carry myself differently on campus, playing the role of the buttoned-up, scholarly English professor.
I’m aware that I’m known for having difficult classes, of being tough yet fair. But nothing worth doing in life is easy, so I push my students to be the best version of themselves they can be. Just like I push my subs to know their limits.
Not everyone loves being challenged, so my reputation of being a hard-ass is earned, but despite my demeanor, my student evaluations have always been favorable.
I’m not sure what her summer plans are. It’s killing me that I can’t check in on her, but I decided to end this, and Imade a rule that I’m not going to ask Alyx about her. I’m determined not to break that one like I have so many of the others.
This is going to be a long summer.
——————
Emma
This summer is about trying new things, and I’m determined to move on from the events of last school year.
When I walk into the cozy bookshop, I’m in awe of the atmosphere and selection. There’s not a single bit of wall that isn’t covered in shelving filled with thousands of brightly colored spines and covers, and little tables dot the open space with books propped on stands and little signs denoting the tropes and blurbs. It’s a book lover’s dream.
Becka’s been begging me to come to book club all summer, and I finally had time between summer classes to make an appearance. The shop is so cute, and I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.
“Emma!” Becka squeals as she waves her hand wildly, motioning me over. When I reach her, she pulls me into a hug. “I’m so glad you came.”
“Me too. Luckily my course load is light this summer, and I’ve already read this book, so it worked out,” I say, offering her a small smile.
“Oh, you don’t really have to read the book. I mean, we do actually talk about the books, but no one’s gonna care if you haven’t read or finished it.”
I nod as she’s speaking when a book behind her catches my eye. “Is that a shirtless hockey player?” I ask in astonishment.
She looks over her shoulder and laughs. “Sleet Kitten, that’s a good one.”
“You’ve read it?”
“I have. This is actually a whole wall of hockey romances,”she says, waving her arms up and down like she’s a model on a game show.
I laugh incredulously. “Wait, this is a thing?”
“It’s one of the largest subgenres of romance, certainly the largest of the sports romances. It’s Amanda’s favorite, hockey romance. She’s the store owner, have you met her?”
I shake my head as Becka continues talking excitedly.
