“Oh my God, you have a crush on him. Is he hot?”
I give her my sternest look. “This is serious, Ella. I don’t have conflicts with teachers, they usually love me.”
“Oh no, poor little bookworm can’t charm her professor.” I stick out my tongue. “How’s the new major going?”
“Shh, keep your voice down. Are you in your room? Is Dad home?”
She scoffs “He’s not here. He’s never here, but he sure likes to make sure I’m here all the time. Don’t worry, no one canhear you right now, I have earbuds in.” She tilts her head to the side to show me, and I nod in acknowledgement, breathing a sigh of relief.
I don’t want to keep this from my stepdad, but I know he’d have opinions about my change in major to theatre. He’d probably encourage me to go major in social work since it’d be the cheaper route. I know he’s just looking out for me, but I have bigger plans.
My sister Lizzy is nonverbal and on the spectrum. She’s recently shown an interest in drama, and my brother Ethan did a lot of research on drama therapy for ASD individuals. There’s a lot of evidence showing it can help with emotional regulation, and since it’s an area of the spectrum Lizzy struggles with, I wanted to see if it was something that could help her. It’s the reason why I changed my major to theatre, despite my stepdad’s grumblings.
At one point I thought about becoming a teacher like my mom, and I’ve always loved literature. My stepdad is vocal about all of his daughters going to college since he never did. He got Ethan’s mom pregnant in high school and barely finished himself, so he wanted more for his offspring. Ethan ended up in culinary school, so I’m the first of the kids to attend college. The plan is to get my master’s in special education so I can help kids like Lizzy. The massive amounts of student loan debt I rack up will be worth it.
“I’ll tell him eventually, it’s just… you know how he is.”
“Oh, Iknowhow he is. Heaven forbid his children make the same mistakes he did. Wehaveto go to college. We can’t have sex in high school. Well, hate to break it to you, Pops, but it’s too late on the second one and Lord knows there isn’t a college that will accept my grades.”
“Wait. You and Chad?”
She smiles and nods.
“When?”
“Last week in his car. You know the abandoned community pool in the neighborhood?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, the parking lot is secluded, and since the pool and rec center have been closed for years, there’s no cameras or security. We hopped into the back seat and… you know. It was cool, but it was over in like ten seconds. I heard it gets better the more you do it, so we’re gonna try again as soon as the warden lets me out.”
Great. My seventeen-year-old sister has already done the deed, and I lose my cool if a guy even touches me.
“Earth to Emma!” my sister calls, breaking my train of thought.
“Sorry, I was just thinking about some ideas for my next paper for Shakespeare,” I say.
“You’re such a bad liar. So, have you seen Daddy Batman again?”
“Oh my gosh, do not call him that.” I groan, shaking my head in exasperation.
“When are you two going to bang?”
“I don’t think it’s gonna happen. I haven’t seen him in weeks, and now that classes have started, I’ll be in the city even less. Plus, he’s so hard to read.”
“It could be the mask?”
“It’s more than that. Our first visit, he started off cold, but he really got into it by the end, but then he was back to being standoffish. And in our last session there was no smexy stuff at all.”
“Maybe he’s just really in character?”
“I don’t think so. When I begged him to help me after that first scene, I could tell he had a heart, that he wanted to help me.”
“How could you tell that? Wasn’t he wearing a mask?”
“It was in his shoulders. The way his chest expanded when he’d sigh. I probably sound dumb, but I could feel the way helooked at me. He helped me through this major breakthrough, and I could tell he was moved by me and wanted more.”
Ella blinks at me for several seconds, and my nerves get the better of me. “Or maybe all doms are like this. Maybe it is just a professional relationship and I’m seeing what I want to see. Projecting my own desires onto him because I long for more of a connection with the only person that’s been able to touch me like that.”
