She flinches and I pull back. “Too much?”
“Sorry, it tickles.”
I breathe a sigh of relief, worries of triggering her again slowly dissipating as I increase the pressure on the sides of her neck, dragging my fingers up and down. I lean over her, propping myself up on my forearm next to her head, as I move in close to her ear, desperate to distract her. “Your body is exquisite, pet. I want to devour you. Would you like that?” I grip the back of her neck, squeezing it as I massage the tense muscles.
“Yes,” she rasps, her thighs clenching under me.
“What else would you like?”
“I–I don’t know.”
Knowing I’m pushing the bounds of her comfortability, I press harder.
“I want to hear that pretty little mouth tell me about all the dirty things you want me to do.”
“T–touch me,” she stutters. “I just want you to touch me.”
“Where?”
“Touch me where he does. Make me think about you instead.”
The man in her dreams. She’s not asking for an orgasm, or even pleasure. Instead, she wants a distraction. “You should stop,” yells the angel on my shoulder, but fuck that guy. I want this, I want her. For once in my life, I want to take something for myself.
I tip my mask up so I can better inhale her floral scent. It smells like flowers after a spring shower, delicate and sweet. Full of promise. The tip of my nose trails along her neck as I inhale a deep breath.
She shudders under me. “What are you… doing?”
“Shhh,” I soothe as I lean back and lower my mask.
After a long exhale, she relaxes under me as I touch the places she mentioned, holding down her arms.
“Breathe, pet. You can do this. You’re safe with me.” Once she calms, I lower myself, putting more of my weight on her, no longer hovering over her ass.
“I can do this, I can do this,” she chants in a low whisper.
I pause my movements, expecting her to use her safe word. When she doesn’t, I glide my hands up from where I’m pinning her arms, and grip the back of her neck. She mentioned him crushing her windpipe, and even though I’m on her back, I decide she isn’t ready for that level of immersion. Instead, I wind one hand around the front, resting it just under her jaw, while the other squeezes tighter on the back of her neck.
“I’m so fucking turned on by how strong you are. It takes a fuckton of fortitude to do what you’re doing right now.”
“I don’t feel strong,” she says softly. “I’m a mess. I can’t even get a decent night’s sleep. And for some stupid reason, I can’t even successfully let a man touch me like that.”
“Do you feel my hands on you?” I squeeze her neck a little tighter, but still nowhere near cutting off her air. “You let me touch you. Another faceless man. You willingly submit to me. Let me touch you however I wanted. And I think that’s pretty fucking strong, taking your control back.”
“Can I see your face?”
I lean back, releasing my grip on her neck, then hop off the lounger.
“That’s not a good idea,” I grit out in frustration. My control is razor-thin, very little holding me back from ripping this mask off and making her submit the way I really want. But I force it down. This has already gone too far. If I cross that line with her, I could lose everything I’ve worked for these past four years. “Put your clothes on.”
Her head pops up in surprise, and the look of disappointment on her face guts me. “When can I see you again?” she asks as she slips her clothes on.
“I gave Alyx explicit instructions for when he should contact me. If the criteria I’ve given him are met, I will be in touch. There are some previous engagements I’ve committed to for the next few weeks, but if an issue arises, Alyx knows how to reach me. Do I make myself clear, pet?”
“Yes, sir,” she says, deflating a little.
Me too, pet.But all good things come to an end, and I’d rather cut her free now than hurt her later.
CHAPTER 5
