“Yes. I’m sure it’s in the file.”
She really didn’t want to talk about this. “Well, then I guess I’ll get to it.” I headed toward my office. “Send in Colette when she gets here.” Now I frowned. “Any tips on how to deal with her?”
“Not really. No matter what you do, she won’t be happy. She’s like one of those little yippy dogs who humps your leg one second and bites your ass the next.”
I blinked at the crudity of her example. “I’ve never had a yippy dog.”
“Well, then aren’t you in for a treat?” Marjory’s eyes sparkled.
“I’m looking forward to meeting her.”
Marjory barked out a laugh. “Yes. Everyone loves Colette. I’m sure you’ll be champing at the bit to have a second sit down with her just as soon as the first is finished.”
I MANAGED TO GET A DECENT WAY THROUGHDeclan’s file — and what a creepy creeper he was — before Colette pranced into my office. She was what I called a light stepper. There was something about the way she carried herself. Perhaps it was the ridiculously high heels. Or maybe it was the pink velour tracksuit that had to be absolutely stifling in this weather. Perhaps it was that she paired them together.
Either way, I knew the second I saw her that I wasn’t going to like her.
The fact that she brought a PowerPoint presentation to prove her point didn’t help.
“So, as you can see, my conclusion is obviously correct,” Colette said, wrapping up an hour after she’d started. “Larry is obviouslyplanning for the end of the world and we have to stop him before he reaches his goal.”
I was flummoxed. “How does the fact that he hoards beans make him the enemy?”
Colette shot me a testy look. “He hoards much more than beans.”
“Yes, but the beans are what stuck in my head,” I admitted. “I keep picturing the campfire scene inBlazing Saddles.”
“I don’t know what that is,” Colette countered.
Well, there was no way I was explaining it to her.Blazing Saddleshad been one of my father’s favorite movies. He watched it all the time, a holdover from his childhood when he watched it with his father. We bonded over it.
“Don’t worry about it.” I waved my hand. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t,” Colette readily agreed. “What matters is that Larry is filling his basement with things meant to sustain him through the end of the world.”
“Like beans.”
Exasperation pinched Colette’s eyes at the corners. “What is it with you and the beans?”
I shrugged. “I am of the mind that if all I had to sustain me for the rest of time after some sort of nuclear apocalypse or zombie invasion was beans, then perhaps it’s not worth living.”
The look on Colette’s face was priceless. “How is that important after what I told you?”
I opted for honesty. “How is any of it important? Larry hoarding beans doesn’t suggest he’s going to end the world. It only says that he’s afraid someone else will try.
“Prepping is a mindset,” I continued. “I’ve seen a few television shows about it. He’s not hurting anybody. If he wants to fill his basement with beans, who am I to stop him? Get back to me when he starts trying to get uranium shipped to the island.”
Colette’s mouth fell open. “That’s it?”
I’d learned the hard way that trying to appease everyone on the island was a losing proposition. If Colette was angry, so be it. Shewas going to find something to be angry about regardless. “That’s it,” I confirmed.
She huffed out of the office, yelling something at Marjory that I couldn’t make out before disappearing into the elevator. Marjory appeared at my open door ten seconds later.
“That went well,” she said with a smile.
“She’s one of those people who will never be happy. I can’t make her life any better, because she wants me to ruin somebody else’s happiness to do so. Larry isn’t doing anything but hoarding beans.”
“Larry is a bit of a nut,” Marjory hedged.
