When Liam’s song ended, Bex reared up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Liam threw his head back, then kissed the top of Tommy’s head, like a father to a child. “I love all of you,” he said. “I will carry this love forever! You all are my sisters and brothers!”
Lily’s heart pounded. After a round of celebratory hugs and friend-kisses, Liam finally realized that Lily was there, and he threw his arms around her, then picked her up drunkenly. For a moment, Lily was terrified he would drop her. “My love!” he called for all to hear. “Did you hear? It’s over!”
Lily tried to laugh and say something to him, but before she could, Liam spun around for another glass of champagne and another song with his co-stars. Lily watched him, her chest thrumming with confusion and abandonment. She hung back and chatted to a sound guy for a little while, who asked her what department she’d been working on.
“I don’t work for the show,” she confessed. “I’m Liam’s girlfriend, actually. No. Wait. I’m his fiancée.” She showed the ring and saw how foreign it looked on her finger.
“Oh! I didn’t realize he was engaged,” the sound guy said. “You guys are pretty young for a commitment like that.”
Lily’s eyes were slits. “How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-nine,” the sound guy said, eager to talk about himself. “I was engaged when I was, like, twenty-two. But things fell apart a year or so into it.”
“What happened?” Lily asked.
“She cheated on me.” He shrugged, as though that sort of thing happened all the time.
Lily’s heart dropped. “I’m sorry. That’s awful.”
“Honestly? I’m glad she did it,” the sound guy said. “I think she sensed what I was too cowardly to say out loud. We weren’t ready to get married. We had to learn more about ourselves before we could make such a commitment.”
Anger returned to Lily’s chest with full force. “Not everyone is like that,” she said, raising her chin. “Some people can learn and grow together. I mean, plenty of people get married young and spend sixty-plus years together. It’s romantic.”
“It is! Or it can be,” the sound guy said. “But I worry when kids like you try to jump into something too soon. Especially in a city like LA.”
“We don’t live in LA,” Lily said. “We’re Nantucketers.”
But the sound guy seemed unable to hear her or unfocused. Lily followed his gaze out onto the dance floor, where Liam jumped up and down with Tasha, Bex, and Tommy. The skateboarder was off to the side, looking at his phone, a bored expression lit up by the ghoulish light of his screen. Everything about Lily’s life felt half baked and off. She was tired of pushing herself to fit into a life that was never meant for her. Suddenly, she felt itchy. She pushed through the crowd and left the venue and stood outside the door, shivering in the dark. A part of her—a youthful part—ached for Liam to find her. But she knew that this “youthful” part of her was exactly what the sound guy had been referring to. If she still wanted to test Liam’s allegiance, if she still wanted to pout outside and wait for him to come, maybe she wasn’t fully ready to get married.
She pushed herself to choose either to call a cab and go back to Liam’s or go back inside and have a good time. But she waited too long. All at once, Liam thrust open the door and blinked through the dark at her. His voice broke. “What are you doing out here?”
Lily felt captured. She shoved her phone into her shoulder bag and said, “I’m just, um. I got stressed out in there.” But she knew she sounded like she was lying.
Liam let the door fall behind him and leaned against the wall. His eyes swam with champagne. “You’re mad,” he said. “You’re mad because this party’s all about me.”
Lily was struck dumb.What a stupid thing to say, she thought, glaring at him. But what she said instead was, “You shouldn’t have invited me if you didn’t want me to come.”
It was a foolish and youthful thing to say. Her stomach thrashed. For weeks, they’d been getting along beautifully. Well, sort of beautifully. She’d spend a lot of time alone. But this LA time was all for Liam, for his career. She’d made her peace with that. Hadn’t she?
“You don’t see me for what I am,” Liam shot back. “I’m important out here. I’m going to be a star. And you’re jealous of that. Admit it.”
It sounded so ridiculous that Lily snorted.
The fight didn’t last long. Very soon, both Liam and Lily burst into tears and hugged it out. Lily apologized and said she loved him. Liam said he was “just drunk.” They ended up going inside, drinking water, sobering up, and getting a cab an hour and a half later. They held hands all the way back to his rental home. Lily’s eyes were on the stars outside the cab window, twinkling so far away. She couldn’t wait to bring Liam back to Nantucket with her. She couldn’t wait till he was wholly and entirely hers—and not Hollywood’s or Bex’s.
Chapter Twelve
Summer 1996
It was hard to believe it had been a whole year since the Wimbledon Championship Yoko had lost. This year, standing on the podium with the first-place trophy in her hand, she gazed out at the sea of Wimbledon viewers, all of whom looked at her with bug-eyed hope and incredulity. Nobody had thought Yoko would come back and beat Emilia Lewandowski this year. Nobody had thought she’d take her in three sets, let alone the two that she’d managed. But there it was on the scoreboard: 6-4, 6-2. She’d essentially wiped the court with her, as the American expression went.
From where she stood, Yoko could see her parents smiling proudly. She made sure to wave in a way that was meant just for them. She bowed in the traditional Japanese way, and they returned the bow. But after that, she allowed her eyes to trace a few seats over to find Kendall Reynolds, her boyfriend of six months. He wolf-whistled and cackled with Steven, a friend of his who’d flown over to England with Kendall a couple ofdays ago to party both before and after the championship. She grinned wider. There he was, her successful and handsome American boyfriend. She was living “the dream.”
After she was released from the championship podium, Yoko hurried over to Coach Reynolds for a final hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said to him, almost gushing with gratitude. She was becoming more and more American and “emotional” over time. She wondered if her parents would even recognize her.
But Coach Reynolds didn’t want this side of her. “You’re a star,” he said. “I’ve always known it.” His voice was stiff, indicating that she should act the same.
Yoko inhaled and steadied her smile.
