“Youhurtme, Ransom,” she told him. “And you didn’t even tell me the truth about why.”
“I know,” he admitted, his eyes on the floor now as shame washed over him.
“And now you want to tell me that you love me?” she asked him.
“I’m sorry, Hailey,” he told her softly.
“I never stopped loving you.” Her voice was soft but crystal clear. “But I reallywanted to.”
“I don’t blame you,” he said, meeting her eyes again.
Hope kept trying to curl its claws into his heart, but there was something in her voice, an edge he’d never heard before…
“And now you say you love me too,” she went on. “But I’d rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t respect me enough to talk to me.”
He wanted to fall to his knees and beg her to change her mind.
But she wasright.
“I understand,” he told her. “I’ve been an idiot, not just back then, but now too. I don’t deserve you.”
“Not if you won’t fight for me,” she said, shaking her head and moving to close the door.
“Wait,” he said, placing his hand against it.
Her eyebrows lifted, but she didn’t fight him.
“I will fight for you, Hailey,” he told her. “I want to fight for you, but I don’t want to fightwithyou. Tell me how to make this right.”
Her beautiful blue eyes filled with hope for a moment, but then her expression shut down, and suddenly he knew exactly how she had felt every time he closed her out of what was in his heart.
“That’s something you’re going to have to figure out for yourself, Ransom,” she said quietly.
He nodded and backed away so that she could close the door again.
Turning to look out over the fields where he had grown up, he searched his heart for how to make Hailey know that he was capable of growing for her.
His feet carried him back through the pines and all the way to the small barn as he thought and thought.
Spending time taking care of the dogs always brought him back to himself. Maybe in their company he could find a way to show her who he wanted to be for her.
An hour later,he sat on a quilt on the barn floor with two of the three-month old puppies asleep on his lap.
Visiting with the animals, doing some basic obedience and grooming, and checking on Henrietta and her babies as they enjoyed the cozy whelping bed, all made him feel more centered again. Caring for the dogs, andfor the kids, and for the A-frame with its fields and outbuildings always brought him a sense of peace.
Caring for Hailey used to make him feel the same way. Whether it was bringing her an armload of wildflowers after she botched a quiz, or asking her to the dance with the help of his friends playing the acoustic guitar and singing her favorite song, or even just taking her for a long walk through the fields and listening to her dream about the play or the upcoming school break, being good to her always made him happy.
All these years, he had thought of breaking up with Hailey as the most caring thing he had ever done for her. He had sacrificed his very heart to ensure her happiness.
But she didn’t choose it. And she didn’t know why.
He also had to come to terms with the fact that he clearly hadn’t understood the depth of her feelings for him.
In his eyes, Hailey Sinclair was just passing some time in high school with him, but she was destined for greater things. He was just a farm boy with a struggling single mom and a baby sister to look out for. He didn’t have the means to follow her to the city or provide for her while she chased her dreams.
All these years, he had hated himself for being broken by what should have been puppy love for the girl whose hand he’d barely held, the girl whose destiny was so different from his own.
Did she really feel the way I did?
