“Merry Christmas,” he echoed.
“What’s up?” she asked.
He took a deep breath, wondering if he should try and get her to tell him what was wrong before he burdened her with his feelings.
But he was starting to realize that life had a way of flying past whether or not he was ready.
“Look, I know you’re with Caspian,” he said quickly. “And I respect that. I’m happy for you, if he’s the man you want.”
She frowned at him, her head tilting slightly in a way that reminded him of the pups.
“But I have to tell you something, Hailey,” he soldiered on. “I have feelings for you, big feelings.I love you.I’ve always loved you, and I always will. That’s it. That’s what I came here to say. If you never want to see me again, I get it.”
“No,” she said softly, shaking her head.
“I do, Hailey,” he told her, nodding. “And I know you might not want to hear it, but you deserve to know the truth.”
“I mean, no, I’m not with Caspian,” she said.
He opened his mouth and closed it again.
“Why would you think I was?” she asked.
“Have you not been online since you got back here?” he asked.
“Not really,” she admitted. “My home internet hasn’t been set up yet, and I’ve mostly just been… trying to organize the house. I haven’t been on my phone today.”
Has she been crying?
“Look,” he told her, pulling out his own phone to show her the pictures.
“Oh,” she said after a moment. “Oh, wow.”
“You really didn’t know about this?” he asked.
“I’ve been sitting on the sofa feeling sorry for myself,” she said, pointing to the sofa, which was covered in crumpled tissues. “I thought I did something wrong and you didn’t like me anymore. You were being so closed-off.”
“I thought you had a boyfriend,” he said, feeling stupid as soon as the words came out of his mouth.
“Well, it reminded me a lot of the day you broke up with me,” she said softly. “Your face got closed-off like that and you just said you didn’t want anything serious.”
“Oh,” he said.
“And then you married the next girl you dated,” she said. “So I knew that you did want something serious, you just didn’t want it with me.”
There was just the tiniest bit of growly jealousy in her voice that he would have loved to hear if he hadn’t been feeling the weight of the pain he had caused her.
“You really don’t know why I actually broke up with you?” he asked her.
Her eyes flashed to his again and she shook her head.
“You’re the most talented person I’ve ever known,” he told her honestly. “I was just some guy with no plans. Ididn’t want to hold you back. I knew if I asked you to marry me, you would stay right here and you’d never chase your dreams. You had to go to New York and share your talent with the world.”
“And you thought you were the right person to make that decision about my life?” she asked him, fire in her beautiful eyes. “You thought you should make itforme?”
He hadn’t really thought about it that way.
“I… Hailey, I’m sorry,” he said, feeling her pain like a hammer in the chest.
