“I think I know what I need to do.”
“Whatweneed to do.” Lucan shuts the door behind me.
“Lucan—”
“I don’t want you to go alone, Isola. Scouting is one thing, but whatever it is you’re about to do… I know the look you get in your eyes when you’re about to do something risky.”
I stare up at him, realizing how close we are. My throat is tight. Body hot. But the way he looks at me, it’s like he wants to devour and savor me all at the same time.
“It’s not worth you taking the risk, too.”
“You are always worth the risk.” He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t waver. Lucan speaks so matter-of-fact that the fluttering in my stomach I felt earlier is now full-on soaring.
Saipha murmurs in her sleep, rolling over.
We both jolt slightly away from each other, like two children caught sneaking. Finally, Lucan says, “You should get some sleep while you can. I’ll take the first part of your watch.”
“But you need rest, too.”Especially if you’re coming with me tonight.
“I’ll be fine.” He smiles reassuringly and takes his place on the lockbox.
I feel his attention on me as I stretch out on my mattress, pulling the covers up to my chin. I have to fight for sleep. I’m anxious about what tonight will hold. But also…excited? I’mexcited at the idea of going alone…with him.
38
We wait for night to fall and everyone to—hopefully—be in their rooms.
Saipha hovers at the door, sucking in a deep breath.
“You’ll be fine,” I reassure her.
“Oh, I know I will be.” She flashes me a confident smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. I don’t point it out, though, instead giving her shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll let you both know when everyone is definitely tucked in for the night.”
With that, she leaves, and I drift to Saipha’s bed, sitting heavy on its edge.
“Don’t worry,” Lucan says as he settles on the lockbox. “She’ll be fine. Most people are likely asleep already.”
As soon as she returns, we’ll leave.
I stare out the window. Suddenly, this tiny room feels both too large and even smaller than normal. This is the first time I’ve been alone with Lucan in days. The first time since we stood together at the statue of the Elder Dragon after the late admissions from the Undercrust arrived. And, even then, there were inquisitors not far.
Right now, it is very much just the two of us, and the silence is unbearable.
“Do you want to be a Mercy Knight?” I blurt, and Lucan jolts.
“Well, that came out of nowhere.”
“I’m just making conversation, and we’ve never spoken about it.” I shrug.
“Of course I want to be a Mercy Knight. Everyone does,” he says, absolutely emotionless.
“Of course.”I roll my eyes at him.
“What isthattone?” He laughs softly. “What’s wrong withwanting to join the ranks on the wall?”
“As you said,everyonewants to go to Mercy. It’s such a boring answer.”And you also didn’t really sound like you want to, I refrain from saying, not sure if I know him as well as I feel like I do.
He shrugs his broad shoulders. “I’m a boring man.”
