“It’ll be all right,” Eira reassured him. She saw the tension in his jaw and the hard line of his lips. “I trust these men and women with my life, and they know you’re part of my crew, in a way. They won’t allow harm to befall you.”
Fritz nodded, though that hard line had yet to ease.
“When you get back to Solaris, please?—”
“You don’t have anything to worry about,” he interrupted. “I won’t be sending the armada after you or Adela.”
A chuckle she couldn’t quite contain escaped as a snort of amusement.
“What?”
“I’m laughing because the thought of you sending the armada after me hadn’t even crossed my mind,” Eira admitted. “Should it have?”
“You have aligned yourself with the most infamous pirate ever to exist,” Fritz pointed out.If only he knew the half of Adela’s crimes… “There will be those who come after you.”
“Deals can be brokered,” Eira said nonchalantly.
“Not with those in power whom she directly attacks.” The words were a bit lower in volume, a bit harsher. She couldn’t tell if it came from a place of genuine worry for her well-being…or disapproval. Eira chose not to read into it.
“Uncle, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there is a shadow version of this world. An underside where the mirror reflects everything back notquitethe same. That other place is just as influential to what happens in the daylight as anything else.” Eira leaned against the railing, half sitting, and looked out to sea. Vi had made a deal with Adela for something. Eira had managed it with Qwint. “Sometimes, those in power need those of us who are untethered to be the shadowy hand that guides the destiny they want to see manifested around them.”
He sighed heavily. Eira could almost see the hunch to his shoulders that whispered of just how much all this was weighing on him. She placed a palm on one, clasping it firmly.
“Don’t worry about me. Send the armada if you like, even. But they’ll be cutting off their nose to spite their face.” Eira smirked. “Solaris, Qwint, Meru, Twilight, they all might loathe me, call out for my death. But under their breath, they’ll confess that theyneedme.”
“And when that need is met?”
“I have a fast ship and a lot of power.” It vaguely occurred to her just how confidently she could refer to theStormfrostasher ship. She made an internal note to be wary that the confidence didn’t cross into arrogance. Adela was still the captain and pirate queen, not her. And the generosity she’d shown Eira could wither on the vine or blossom into the future she was dreaming of. “They’ve tried to kill Adela for decades and look where it got them. I’m not afraid.”
Yet another sigh. That was all her uncle could seem to do around her—his only response to all she was saying. Eira chuckled again.
“You know, you are fretting over me more than my parents did.” Eira shifted her attention back to him. Fritz’s expression was pinched still. His eyes glistening.
“Because I watched you grow up,” he whispered. “As much—morethan they did. Because I watched you, at every step of life, be willing to throw yourself headlong into danger and there was nothing I could do to stop you even when, every time, my heart seized and threatened to drop from my chest.”
Eira shifted, the leg she’d half propped on the railing falling back to the deck so she could stand fully. His every word had her on tenterhooks.
“I…we…went through so much to make Solaris what it is today. I wanted to see you enjoy a good and quiet life in the peace and prosperity we had worked so hard for.” He stared past the horizon, at a time long gone.
“Uncle—” Eira took his hand in both of hers, drawing his attention to her. “Maybe I am not meant for that peace. But that doesn’t mean others aren’t. That your struggle wasn’t for naught.”
“Butyouare the one I wanted to enjoy it.”
Guilt ripped through her like an arrow to the heart. Eira tried to snap and pull it through, ignoring the pain. “My life is my own to live. You can’t do it for me.”
“How I wish that weren’t true…” He squeezed her fingers.
“I know.” Eira smiled faintly. He’d never understand her. But, in his way, he loved her. That love wasn’t enough to have them seeing eye to eye…just enough to have him always tucked into a fond place in the corner of her heart. Eira slipped her arms around his shoulders and inhaled deeply the scent of her childhood. The warmth that was once both safety and suffocation, and was now little more than an air of nostalgia. “No matter what, I do love you. And I thank you for trying the best you knew how.”
“I’m sorry if it wasn’t enough for you.” He squeezed her back so tightly that the words trembled in time with his hands.
“It wasn’t about being enough, or not enough.” They pulled apart and Eira gently wiped a stray tear from his cheek. “I was meant for something different, is all. Not better or worse.” Though she knew he might disagree. “Simply different.”
“It’s hard when what you envisioned for someone who’s like a child to you isn’t the life they wanted.”
“But there’s also joy in them finding the life they were meant to have,” she reminded him gently. “Now, you need to go back where you belong. Give Grahm my love as well. I’ll come by whenever I have the chance.” Though Eira didn’t know when that would be, she was sincere in saying so. If she had the chance, she would return to them as Eira, not Adela’s heir. Not to pillage, but to spend a quiet evening in a place that was once what she thought of as home.
“Please do.” Despite everything, he sounded like he meant it. “I—we all love you.”
