“Sometimes, what must be done is uglier than we’d like.” Cullen still didn’t look at her. His eyes were fixed back on the town. Eira wondered if he saw the last town he’d decimated with his winds.
“This isn’t you, Cullen,” Alyss whispered.
“You don’t know me or what I’m capable of.” The words were plain. Simple. And somehow more fearsome for it.
“Maybe I don’t…because I thought you were better than that.” Alyss’s tone was disappointed, wounded even. Just as Eira was about to move for her, Yonlin crossed over.
“Alyss, it’s all right.” Yonlin said, tugging her away. “Allun needs your help, if you’re able…”
Cullen sighed and knelt beside Eira. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” She nodded, both for him, and for Olivin who cast a concerned look her way. “I am, Cullen. I’m just going to consult the map.”
He nodded, hearing the dismissal in her tone. They all needed a moment.
She took the rudimentary map that had been given to her, trying to assess where they were.Two days… She needed to get them back into the tunnel before dawn came. Eira massaged her leg in thought.
If her guess was correct, they could follow this canal back to the woods, then cut at a diagonal to the entrance of the cave.It would take them late into the night, but the darkness would be a good cover. No doubt the knights had already sent word of the commotion and prison break to those at the wall. They were probably expecting that Allun would be making a run for Qwint…
“Eira?” Ducot crouched alongside her.
“Ducot?”
After a long stretch of silence, he said, “Thank you.”
With a sigh, she folded up the map and returned it to her pocket. Eira stared down the long trough of water that stretched toward a hazy, sunset horizon. “You’ve nothing to thank me for.”
“If you hadn’t pulled me out, I would’ve died there—I would’ve got myself killed,” he corrected gravely.
“You probably would have,” she agreed softly. “I might have too.”
Eira’s attention swung over her shoulder and back to Cullen. Yonlin and Olivin were off to the side talking with Allun. Alyss had flopped on the ground, looking as if she was allowing the agitation to evaporate off her body. But Cullen was dutifully filling everyone’s waterskins and repacking their rations after handing out portions. Perhaps trying to make amends for the awkwardness he’d just created.
There had been a time when she had resented him for his endless pursuit of duty and obligation. How tirelessly he upheld what was expected of him. She’d never stopped to appreciate how that same trait meant that she didn’t have to think about her cup being full and her bed being warm. That when she was busy worrying about everyone else…she had someone worrying about her. As annoying as it could be, sometimes, he was right to do it. And a part of her would always be grateful. Especially when it was a man who was ready to destroy the world for her, if that’s what it took.
“Don’t throw it away,” Ducot said softly.
“What?”
“Your love, your affection, this crew you’ve built. Don’t throw it away.”
“I know.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, teasing out the tangles. Eira began weaving it together so it wouldn’t snag on branches or get worse during their final trek. “I’ve…tried not to.”
He nodded. Another stretch of silence crossed their path.
“If it’d bring her back, if it wouldn’t risk any of us, I’d burn it all to the ground for her,” Eira whispered. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she no longer cared. That she was content with letting Noelle’s murderers roam the world when their friend burned eternal in the fires of the flash bead mines. “I’d dismantle every brick and stone of their order. I’d end every person responsible for that place.”
“I know. And maybe we can work toward that.” Ducot had a tired smirk cross his face briefly. It was the closest thing to happiness she’d seen on him in ages. “You’ll get practice utterly destroying something with the Pillars. After that, perhaps we turn our sails to Carsovia? Wreak havoc along their shores?”
“I’ll be at the whims of Adela.”
“As will I. But in my experience the pirate queen rarely says no to brutal piracy, especially against those she has a grudge with.” He chuckled.
Brutal piracy…as good as it sounded to her, Eira’s eyes darted to Alyss. Her friend was so concerned over innocents.How would she ever settle into such a life?The unsettled sensation from when she and Alyss were in Qwint’s market returned, now coalesced around a question. It’d be best if Alyss didn’t go ashore, when the time came. She was excellent support on the ship, anyway.
Ducot continued, oblivious, drawing Eira from her momentary panicked musings, “Adela had been doing a fairlygood job at striking fear into them before your existence sidetracked her, so I doubt she’ll resist encouragement to do it again.”
“And you’ll stay with me through it?” The question had been looming over her for weeks now.
