“Rich of you to suggest ignoring political schemes.”
“I changed.” Cullen shrugged.
She couldn’t argue that… “I’ll have time to terrorize the seas under Adela’s banner later. Ulvarth comes first.”
“If you sacrifice all you are simply for the sake of ending him, then he still wins.”
“Noelle sacrificed all she was.”
“That wasn’t because of Ulvarth?—”
“If not for him, we wouldn’t have been there.” Eira pulled her hands from his, turning away from Cullen—from the truth she’d so readily ignored.If not for him, I wouldn’t have pushed us so hard. Noelle would still be alive, were the words that burned her lips, ignited by the fire consuming her chest. Ulvarth had claimed her brother. Her friend. And countless others. “My mind is made up. I’m doing this, no matter what.”
“Then…just know what you’re willing to sacrifice.”
“Everything,” she said without hesitation.
“Everything?” he repeated in disbelief. “Your place with Adela, sailing freely? Your friends? Us?”
“Everything,” she repeated. But this time she was slightly less confident, though she didn’t let it show in her voice or posture. In the following silence, Eira slowly turned, looking over her shoulder.
There was that expression again, that wounded look. That heartbreak. What else could he expect? He had been there when Noelle died. He knew that the blame ultimately came to Eira, and Ulvarth, and the deadly web she’d ensnared them all in by getting roped in through Ferro now years ago.
“She wouldn’t have wanted that,” Cullen whispered. “She would’ve wanted you to go on and live freely.”
The words stung.He means well, Eira reminded herself to keep from lashing out in reply. She gathered herself, allowing the conversation to wither on the vine in silence. Then, she calmly said, “As long as Ulvarth draws breath, I will never be free. Now, goodnight, Cullen.”
“Eira—” He moved for her.
“Goodnight.” She stood her ground.
Cullen froze, searched her face one last time, opened and shut his mouth, then left without another word.
She cursed under her breath and ran a hand through her hair. What he was asking of her—suggesting… She couldn’t justleave this be. To not do everything in her power to bring down Ulvarth, no matter the cost, would be an insult to Noelle and Marcus. It would forever be a stain on her own legacy to allow her enemies to thrive. Adela certainly wouldn’t. If it were Adela, she’d freeze Ulvarth and all who harbored his ilk and hold them as eternal statues as a warning to the world. Eira couldn’t simply sail away like Cullen suggested. How could she inspire fear in anyone ever again if she did?
“He doesn’t understand.” Olivin stole the words directly from her mind. Eira whirled in place. He leaned against the doorway that Eira had opened to let in the cool night air. She hadn’t even heard a whisper of his presence. Though, that shouldn’t surprise her. Olivin was a better Shadow than she had ever been. “He can’t. He hasn’t lost like you and I have.”
Eira gave a slight nod. Part of her agreed. But she’d seen Cullen’s distant stare after finding no word of his father. Felt his pain, as palpable as her own, following Noelle. Before that, even, he’d lost the identity he’d built around himself like an impenetrable fortress.
He’d lost, hadn’t he? It just looked different… Yet, she couldn’t get the words out before Olivin spoke again.
“Sorry for listening in.” Olivin pushed away from the door and took a step into the room. “I had been coming to visit you, seeing as every room is connected by way of the balcony and Yonlin snores…and I promised you I’d find some time alone with you.”
Eira huffed lightly in amusement at the implication ofthat.
“He was already here when I approached and, well…” Olivin shrugged, not looking guilty in the slightest.
Eira sighed. “It’s fine. There wasn’t anything particularly intimate about that conversation.”
“Are you often intimate with him?” Olivin paused his movements. He was impossible to read.
“Is that jealousy?” Her tone was playful but she genuinely sought the answer. If it was, then her time to explore options was coming to an end.
“Hardly. Nothing more than curiosity.” Olivin seemed genuine enough. Eira relaxed.
“I’m intimate with him when it pleases me,” Eira answered somewhat coyly. Then her tone turned serious once more. “He knows me, parts of me from my past that are even hard for me to explain or understand now, as the woman I am.”
Olivin shrugged and stepped forward. “I care little for who knows your past; what I want to know is your future.” He took another step. Suddenly, the distance between them was compressed into almost nothing. His sharp blue eyes never left hers. Every movement was graceful, almost deadly. “A future that I still want to be a part of.”
