“Evander,” I start delicately, “what was your life like before Conri?”
He opens his eyes and stares up at the sky. I wonder if he sees his old pack, the people he loved, dancing among the clouds. During the stretch of silence that follows, I begin to doubt he’ll tell me at all. We’ve been so careful about sharing little when it comes to anything too personal. Even though we’ve crossed many lines, it is a different sort of intimacy than what I’m asking now.
“Peaceful,” he says, at long last. Never have I clung to what someone might say next so tightly. “We lived near the forest at the edge of the lykin’s territory. I never realized what…what my circumstances were.” A frown tugs on his lips slightly. “I grew up without pack politics and the wolf king. I got to live the life most pups would only dream of. Until the day he came for us.”
The pain in Evander’s voice draws me to him. I shift slightly, reaching through the grasses to find his fingers. But even as I make contact, he continues to stare up at those old ghosts that peer down at us through the Veil between here and the Great Beyond.
“Conri killed… He took everyone I ever knew and loved from me. He should have killed me, too, but he didn’t. I was worth more to him alive.”
“Because you know about spirits?” I ask, barely refraining from adding,And witches?
“That, and because I was the last male of my pack—by rights, I was the alpha of a pack of one. Me. But that is symbolic enough for him to make me his knight and take my ability to have children from me in the process. Showing the other alphas what he can reduce a pack to—a man to.”
My ribs feel too small for my lungs. I suppress a whimper. This pain is his, not mine. I feel it in sympathy, but I cannot allow it to manifest because it would shift the focus off of him in this moment.
“It is…so cruel,” I whisper.
That finally brings his eyes to mine. Haunted but sharp. Distant, and yet somehow able to look right into my very soul.
“He is cruel,” Evander says. “Every day, I cursed his name. I wasn’t sure why I allowed myself to be taken alive. There were nights I wished I would never wake from. Days I would push every boundary in the hope that Conri would just end it.”
“Evander…”
“But now…now I am grateful for every breath. Every gnarled scar on my flesh and heart is like a map that led me to here, now, with you. I wouldn’t change any second of pain because forsaking it would also mean forsaking the pleasure of your company, your smiles, your body.” He speaks every word soplainly. So earnestly. He’s so suddenly laid his soul bare before me and I’ve no idea what to do with it.
I thought I knew what love was…but now I know it was nothing more than a childhood infatuation. It was real, but as real as it could be for a young woman whose world was small and who knew so little. Real looks different when your perspective on the world changes with time and experience.
“Do you mean all that?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.
Evander rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow. His other hand reaches for my face, cupping my cheek. He leans in but holds off kissing me long enough to say, “Every word and more.”
My eyes dip closed and my chin rises slightly on instinct. His mouth meets mine in the slowest, most glorious kiss I have ever felt. I don’t have to kiss him. Conri is nowhere near. I don’t have a pent-up urge threatening to be the thief of my better sense.
I kiss him because Iwant to. Because it feels so good when his mouth is on mine. Silken lips gliding on instinct. The roughness of his stubble.
He pulls away and I rise for one last peck, stealing it right off his lips. Evander chuckles at my preciousness and lies back with a smile.
“So, where is it that you want to go? We have about a week.”
“Do you actually know where any spirits are?” I ask, still genuinely curious about the extent of what he knows when it comes to the magic of witches.
He nods. “I have some prospects. But I’ve never been able to look into them too deeply.”
“Do these prospects take us to the forest?” I sit up and nod down to the forest that walls off the lykin’s territory from the rest.
“Some could.”
“Good, that’s where I want to go.”
“You’re going to prepare an escape path for you and Aurora…aren’t you?” He sits as well. Our shoulders brush and I relish in the easy familiarity that comes with someone you trust—someone you’ve shared your body and intimate secrets with.
“That’s my plan,” I have no trouble admitting to him.
“And how are you going to escape Conri to get you and Aurora on this path?” Skepticism weighs down his words.
“I’ll figure that out at Den.” I glance his way with a slight grin. “Or, you will.”
He huffs. “How did I know I’d be a part of this escape?”
