Perhaps he’s right, but in this moment I’m searing the truth into my mind with a red-hot branding iron. I will never forget this lesson.
“Thank you for taking me there,” I say. “I needed to know. Now I will fight him with all I am.”
“Good. Because he’s going to do everything in his power to ensure that you will continue to fall for him.”
“That I will still be in the palm of his hand.” I hatefully paraphrase his words.
“For Conri, admitting his charm isn’t working would be akin to a loss of his manhood. It’d make a fool of him.”
Has anything ever sounded better than the mere idea of making a fool of an egotistical king? I think not. My fingers relax and my head tips back slightly as I bring my gaze from the lower wall to the ceiling of the tent. It’s washed in a pale haze from the growing moon. I’ve been here nearly two weeks. Enough time for the moon to swell to almost its apex.
Aurora’s might grows in tandem with the heavenly body. Perhaps that is what is feeding my boldness. Or this fiery resolve is all my own. A strength cultivated out of necessity, nurtured by the wisdom and sorcery that was gifted to me by my mother and grandmother, that was hard won across every triumph and setback across my years. Seeds from which my power continues to blossom.
“I think I would like to do that,” I whisper.
“Do what?” Evander sounds legitimately confused.
“Make a fool of him.” The words taste delicious.
Evander does grab my shoulder now, turning me to look me in the eyes. His brows are furrowed. Shoulders pulling with tension. I feel his fingertips well into my flesh through my cloak and shirt.
“Did you not learn anything?” he growls. “Challenging Conri is a deadly game.”
“So I am to give in to him?” I lift my own brows and tilt my head slightly. “Just allow him to do with me as he pleases until my use to him expires?” I chuckle softly and shake my head. Evander’s expression only darkens. “That’s not going to happen.”
“You need to keep your head about you.”
“I agree.” I rest my hand on his chest lightly. The sculpted contour of his pectoral fits seamlessly into my palm, like proof our forms were designed to complement one another. Even through the thin shirt he wears, I can feel every curve of his rock-hard muscle. A playful little smile dances upon my lips. Enough with holding back. I look up at him through my lashes with purpose. “That’s why I need your help.”
“Of course.” He steps backward, ready to move away as he has all the other nights.
I catch Evander’s wrist with my left hand and bring his attention back to me, my right palm still against his skin. My heart is pounding with such force that my breathing quickens. But nerves aren’t the cause…it’s anticipation. Excitement. I’ve thought about this enough times that it is a relief to imagine it finally coming to pass. “I need…more.”
His lips part slightly. Body relaxes. Shock only, I hope, and not disgust at my obvious implication.
“If you’re willing to give it,” I hastily add, hoping that was already assumed.
“You want to…” The words are so breathy and faint that they fade completely by the end.
“I want you to help make it so that I do not think of Conri. I want to—need to be satisfied in a way that I have not been in years.”
He searches my face. “Have you known many men?”
“Not many. But enough that I assure you I will not be a disappointment.” I take a small step forward, our bodies nearly flush. “Enough to know what I’m doing and what I’m asking. I don’t go in blindly, or in haste.”
Evander chuckles deeply. “Not in haste? How is moving on me to spite the man who you just learned is laying plans to kill you anything but haste?” He shakes his head and pulls away. The palm that was on his chest grabs the night air, icy after touching him. “I will not be a thing for you to use.”
“You’re more than that,” I blurt. He stops, but doesn’t turn back to face me. I instantly regret this choice to try and persuade him. I should have let the matter drop.
“Why?”
I have to tell him. Not just for the sake of trying to convince him, but because he has a right to know what I’ve been doing. Especially if it is something that he would prefer I stop. Given how he’s acting, he might find the idea nauseating.
“Because…” I gather all the courage I’d just found.Don’t leave me now, I silently beg that braver side of me. “Because you are the only thing that has allowed me to break free of him.”
“Yes, and you can still do what you need here.”
“That’s not what I mean. Evander, you—I think of you.”
