“If you are trying in a roundabout way to ask if I will force you to bed me, Faelyn, I will not.” He runs his fingertips up my arm. “I have not forced anything of you yet, have I?”
“Nothing other than forcing me into your bed. And becoming your wife.”
“Ah, yes…I will not sacrifice the well-being of my packs and my stability as king for anyone, not even my future queen.” Conri seems genuinely…contemplative about the matter. “However, the bed. Would you like your own?” He seems genuinely surprised, as if he hasn’t considered that I might.
“Yes.” I test the ever-evolving limits.
“Very well.” Conri shifts suddenly, standing. I fall back into the cot without him there. He crosses to the entrance of the tent and barks an order at Evander. In a matter of minutes, there’s another cot brought in by two knights with another bedroll. Conri motions at both the cot I’m in and the new one. “Pick. I care not.”
Moving to the other cot feels like a daze. The bedroll smells mostly fresh—unused. But I can still smell Conri near me. In the small tent, our cots are only a finger’s width apart. But, still, it is my own…
“Better?” Conri asks as he settles.
“Yes,” I admit, still shocked by what’s happening. It breaks every expectation I’ve cultivated of Conri so far. We both lie, side by side, but apart. I stare at him through the darkness and, eventhough my eyes aren’t good enough to see, something tells me that he’s staring back. “Conri?” I dare.
“Faelyn.” He is still awake.
“Would there be another way to ensure stability for the lykin other than marrying you?—”
He stops me. “Faelyn, a mere few days without the moon spirit in hand and someone moved against me. Pups were killed—childrenwere killed merely because they were of my pack. That is one matter I cannot compromise on. I need the power of the moon spirit to keep the peace.”
“And if that power were to be set free? Where would that leave me?”
A pause. “Do you have a way to do that?”
Freeing Aurora of her bonds and restoring her as a full spirit. But I’m not going to say that aloud… “No.”
“Well, then it sounds like you have little to worry about. So, yes, you will marry me, Faelyn. That I am afraid I need. But”—he reaches over, taking my hand in his—“I hope that I can be a man you would consider yourself honored to have as your husband. That perhaps one day you will learn to not only tolerate me in your bed, but, infinitely better, to welcome me in your heart.”
The words seem sweet, and pure. Simple. Could it really be that simple?
“I know how my pack speaks of me. But I ask you earnestly, give me the chance,” he continues. “Learn who I truly am for yourself. See my love for my people—love that will extend to you. Let me win your heart. If you give in you might find you enjoy the chase, too.”
My heart flutters as he releases me. Conri rolls over, putting his back to me. But I continue to lie on my side, facing him, peering into the darkness. As if, somehow, I’ll be able to figure out what in the forgotten names of all the old gods just happened.
CHAPTER 19
Even though Conriclearly suspected my wounded ankle was a ruse, he still will have the pack staying an extra two days in the camp. I learn this when Evander comes to collect me in the morning. Conri was up with the dawn. I pretended to be asleep as he left. Even though I don’t usually sleep late, I dozed for an extra few hours. It’s been impossible to get quality sleep next to him when I’m so on edge from his presence.
“You are quiet today,” Evander observes as we take a morning walk. I make it a point to favor my “good” ankle a little more, but not overly so. Given our conversation last night, the ruse is up.
“Sorry,” I murmur.
“You’ve no need of apologies.” He slows to a stop at the edge of camp, staring out over the grasslands that sway in the breeze, shimmering silver and gray among the low mists that permanently blanket these plains. “Did he… Is everything…” Evander shifts to face me, an expression of steely determination and deep concern etched into his face. “Did he do anything untoward last night?”
I look up at the knight. “My ‘sworn protector,’” I say softly. “Tell me, would you even protect me from him, if it came to it?”
“Without doubt.” There’s no hesitation. Hardly a delay at all, even. I don’t know if he would’ve had the same answer when we arrived at Midscape almost a week ago.
“Evander—”
“I know what he is, what he’s capable of. He has asked me to do and defend many heinous acts, but there are some that not even I will abide.”
“What he’s capable of…” I repeat softly, my gaze drifting back to the slowly sloping hills. “He didn’t hurt me, Evander. Quite the contrary. The extra cot was to make me more comfortable because he expects nothing of me.”
I can see Evander’s lips purse from the corners of my eyes. He looks back out over the grasses as well. There are things he wants to say. The words are a weight in the air, but he doesn’t alleviate the pressure.
“If I wanted to go and see what is over that hill”—I point to the distant horizon—“could you take me?”
