“Aurora…”
She moves rather than responding or even looking my way, stepping forward and down into the plush sitting area. Her attention remains fixed on the flames. Even as I slowly approach. Even as I sit next to her.
“Did you mean it?” I finally ask. The question is hard to word. Luckily, I don’t have to elaborate, she knows what I’m referring to.
“I did.” There’s a lifelessness to the words. Never have I seen her look so heavy. So absent of any kind of spark. I want to take her hand, but I’m not sure if it would be welcome. “But, also, I didn’t.” She’s the one to make a move for my fingers, grabbing them. “I couldn’t hurt you, Faelyn. I wouldn’t. You’ve done nothing wrong and have only tried to help me at every turn. But what I said about being ready to leave this form, one way or another…that was sincere.”
“Aurora—”
She lifts her hand, stopping me with her open palm. “Don’t try to placate me, or tell me it will be all right. I’ve walked several lifetimes. More than. I have seen this world and all its beauties; I have been subjected to its endless font of cruelties. Mortal life has become a sickness, one that I cannot free myself from, and can no longer bear…especially without hope of liberation. But I am not, and will not be, like the monsters that have kept mecaptive for centuries. I wouldn’t hurt you just because it might benefit me.”
I sigh and stare into the flames. The weight of her truth is crushing. And I don’t wish to insult or minimize the trauma she’s endured.
“I cannot imagine what you must feel,” I whisper. “But I still have hope that we can free you.” She scoffs softly. But a small smile curls her lips, optimistic even so. Or perhaps just amused by my foolishness. “However, if there comes a time where we feel that all options have been exhausted…that all hope for both of us to escape Conri is gone…then…I will help you be free.”
Her brows shoot up, attention swinging in my direction. “Faelyn?—”
“My turn to stop you.” I grin slightly. “I don’t say this lightly, nor would such a decision ever be. You might think my optimism and hope unyielding—and I want it to be—but I also live in the real world. There are things that I do not know if I can stomach, either.” Things that I could face all too soon.
“Do you really think we’ll get out of this, still?” She looks back to the fire, as if the answer lies somewhere within the flames.
“I’m going to try.”
“How?”
“I don’t know yet,” I admit. “But I can do something none of them can: talk to spirits. And a great wolf spirit is going to be the one to perform the union. Perhaps I can barter with him?”
Aurora snorts. “He is abrute. As uncaring and vicious as any of the kings that rule on his behalf.”
“Odd to see you speaking ill of a spirit.”
“I do so rarely. But Ulfryk is a rare breed deserving of it.”
“Could he have helped you?”
She sighs, shoulders sagging some. “Probably not…but I resent him anyway for not trying. He holds the lykin’s magicin his hands. It is his doing that gives them their wolf shapes. Surely, he could’ve done something to coerce them.”
The sentiment gives my thoughts surrounding the spirit new clarity. I’m going to have to be either as vicious as this wolf is or more cunning. But I cannot appeal to kindness.
“Would Evander know anything?” I ask.
“I don’t know, we’ve never spoken of it together. Frankly, I never spoke much with him before he helped me. But he showed up that night of the first dark moon following the Blood Moon with the ring and told me to go… I never even knew he noticed my suffering.” Her voice becomes soft, and sad. “It’s clear you two are made of the same essence. Both of you are good to your cores.”
I smile and nod. The mention of Evander has my chest squeezing my heart. I inhale slowly, trying to alleviate some of the pressure. It hardly works.
“Go to him,” Aurora says.
I blink back to reality. “But…”
“Conri clearly doesn’t care.” She motions to the opening. “If he did, he wouldn’t have left us without knights.”
“I thought the same thing—wondered if he was almost daring us to leave again.”
“To give him an excuse,” Aurora adds bitterly.
“Just going to Evander won’t be an excuse?”
“Does it matter if it is?” She shrugs. “How much further can we push him? How much do you care about what the cost might be?”
