“So Slip picked you…”
“He came to me and guided me out of the mines through a labyrinth of tunnels far beyond any I had seen in my years there. The entire time, he gave me clear instructions on how to get to a nearby port. I repeated them after every time.” Varren looked out into the night. His gaze had gone as soft as his words. “I ran through that forest as fast as I could. I gulped down the fresh, clean air as if it was going to be my last night alive. But when dawn broke, I saw the most beautiful sight I’d ever beheld:
“A horizon of unbroken water and a small village, not unlike where I grew up. Just as Slip had said, there was a ferryman who didn’t ask questions. Who appreciated someone who kept their mouth shut, head down, and worked hard. It wasn’t far from there to get to Qwint—just across a narrow strait under the cloak of darkness.”
“Did you ever find your parents?” Eira asked softly, hoping that there would be one happy note to Varren’s story.
He shook his head sadly. “I looked for them when I arrived in the republic. I knew, even then, they were dead. The knights don’t let deserters live, especially not if they’re deemed too old to work. But I tried to look anyway. I had to.”
Eira nodded. She knew that feeling of wanting to find your parents at all costs. It was almost unbearable for her and she didn’t even know who her blood parents were. Now, she had a new agony of not knowing if the parents who had raised her survived.
In a small way, she could empathize with him. But Varren’s turmoil ran deeper than Eira’s worst imaginings. She wasn’t going to lessen it by claiming she could understand that hurt.
“Lavette’s father was overseeing refugees from Carsovia when I arrived. Even at her young age, she helped him.”
“She seems like a natural leader,” Eira agreed.
“Much like you.” Varren surprised her with the sentiment. He must’ve seen as much on her expression because he added with a chuckle, “You and her are different types of leaders. She’s very…by the book. It’s easy to feel safe when Lavette is in control.”
“And you feel in danger with me?” Eira grinned slightly. She knew the role she filled in their group.
“Maybe a bit more risks…sure,” he admitted. “But, with you at the lead, I feel like anything is possible.”
Eira was stunned yet again. She didn’t think she’d made such an impression on Varren. Eira returned the focus to him yet again. “So you met Lavette through her work with the refugees?”
He nodded, finishing his story. “No matter what she says, I will always be in her debt. She found me shelter, food, checked in on me. Just like she did with all the others, time and again. Sometimes I think she spent more time in the refugee houses than her own home.”
“She seems like an incredible woman.” Eira meant it, too. Now wasn’t the first time Eira could imagine it would have been for the best if Cullen had fallen for Lavette. But that was a different world. With who Cullen was becoming, now that he was free to explore his own path…Lavette only fit the lordly facade he’d maintained.
“She’s always been like that. A goddess among men, really.” Varren shifted, drawing up his knee to rest his forearm on it.
“Do you love her?” Eira whispered.
“Perhaps.” He smiled faintly. “Or perhaps not… I never entertained it much. All I ever wanted, truly, was for her to be happy. With me, with someone else…near or far, it doesn’t matter. Just knowing she’s out there, thriving, is all I need.” The words had remnants of what Cullen had told her—that he would be anything, so long as it meant he was on her mind. Eira’s chest gave a slight squeeze. “I love her deeply as a best friend, a loyal soldier, or whatever words best encapsulate the immeasurable and unending wellspring of emotion that runs deeper than my magic.”
The sentiment warmed Eira’s heart. But, in all that, she didn’t quite hear him saying that romantic love wasentirelyruled out.
Without warning, he stood and dusted off his pants. “Thank you for listening to my tale.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me,” Eira said sincerely.
“I think my mind has settled enough that I’ll go and try to get some sleep…and leave you both to it.”
“‘Both’?” Eira looked back over her shoulder to find Olivin waiting, intensity simmering in his eyes.
27
Varren left and Eira was instantly aware of how empty the decks were. Only a couple pirates were awake and they were focused on their own discussion on the main deck below, barely visible from where she sat.
“I hope I didn’t wake you when I left,” Eira said. Though she had been gone for some time and suspected that wasn’t the cause of his presence… She had to saysomethingto break the immediate tension.
“You didn’t.”
“Good.”
“I was already up.” Olivin crossed over. The wind caught his dark hair, the strands highlighted by the stars. He knelt and her heart answered with a skip as his cool eyes shone in the silver moonlight. A contrast with the warmth of his expression.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep,” Eira said softly, her words growing heavy and hard to say.
