Was there anyone in the Court of Shadows that had been there purely for the sake of helping Meru? A true patriot? Surely someone, but it seemed as though everyone Eira knew had beenthere for their own gain as much as anyone else’s. She’d gone to hunt down Ferro. Olivin was there to find his sister. Ducot went on Adela’s behalf, and after Ulvarth.
They were all hunting down someone. Even now.
“What do you think will happen to the Court of Shadows?” she asked softly.
“It’ll persist. I hope. Because they’re going to be our best chance of getting a foothold in Risen. Or, at least facts about what happened and not propaganda. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ulvarth has already seated himself on Lumeria’s throne.”
The thought churned Eira’s stomach. She could only imagine how it made Olivin feel. “Do you really think we’ll make it back to Risen, to Lumeria’s castle?”
“No point in returning if we can’t. We must to take Ulvarth down and actually make a world that will be safe for those we love.” His tone was raw, determined. “But we’ll tackle problems one at a time. Carsovia and these mines first, to get our ship. Maybe we can also solve the mystery of who was supplying the Pillars flash beads. Cutting off their source will severely hamper them.”
“Not a bad idea.” Eira was surprised it hadn’t crossed her mind yet. Ulvarth had already used the flash beads to his advantage and if he still had access to them, he no doubt would again. Especially now that his own powers were gone. Unless, he’d found a way to restore them…
“You two,” Adela interrupted abruptly, startling Eira from her thoughts. “Would you care to join the rest of us in today’s drills?”
“Of course.” Olivin led the charge over. Eira nodded as well.
Adela murmured under her breath as she walked by, “If the ship veers off course once, I will have to reconsider you and your friend’s lives.”
“Understood.” It was so common for Adela to threaten everyone that it hardly bothered her anymore.
“We’re going to trade places tonight,” Adela announced the moment Eira walked into her cabin, alone.
“How do you mean?” Eira crossed to her usual chair at the pirate queen’s bedside. Crow no doubt had questions when she’d first begun putting it out. But Adela’s handmaiden was discreet and had never said a word of it to Eira or anyone else. Which had led Eira to be equally tight-lipped about what went on during her evenings with the pirate queen. Moreover, she didn’t want to give her friends false hope that her long-shot plans might work. Not until she’d made more progress on them.
“Iwould like to try opening your channel, instead of you opening mine.”
Her nerves were ablaze at the thought and Eira pushed ice under her skin, forcing herself to remain calm. She’d already lost her channel once; putting it at risk again—for any reason—had her instantly uneasy. But Adela was a far more skilled Waterrunner than she was, even now after all their work together.
“To do this, I will first give you control of theStormfrostso that I can focus more on you.”
“Excuse me?” Eira blinked. The sensation of vulnerability was instantly replaced with responsibility.
“As I pull back my ice, you will replace it—until the entire ship is covered as it is now. We will start from the hull. If,when, your magic wavers, I will open your channel. But under no circumstances are you to stop. I will not have my ship exposed.”
Eira supposed she should be grateful Adela had given her any indication of her plans. But the mere thought of what Adela was asking had Eira’s throat tightening enough that she had to swallow to remind herself she could breathe, much less speak. “I understand.”
Adela was full of continued surprises. With a terse sigh and small roll of her eyes, she leaned forward. Eira nearly jumped out of her skin when Adela rested her hand of ice on top of Eira’s. The touch was gentle. Reassuring. In that frosty hand, she saw her Uncle Grahm’s reassuring grip. She felt his cool hand on her forehead when she was a child, sweltering with a fever her magic couldn’t abate.
It felt…like family. Like home. Even though Adela had sworn up and down that she wasn’t Eira’s mother—and Eira believed her—that made her contact no less comforting.
“Eira, listen to me, because I will only exhaust my breath on it once.”Ah, the Adela she knew was still there. Sharp and pointed as ever. “You can do this. I am asking nothing of you that you’re not already capable of.”
“You think so?” Eira asked softly. She half expected Adela to scold her for her hesitation and doubt. Or rescind the vote of confidence.
“Your mind limits you before your magic does. Stop being afraid of your power just because some narrow-minded, weak fool somewhere in your history was intimidated and told you to hold back.” Adela’s fingers closed tightly around Eira’s palm, as though she were trying to brand the words into Eira and make them undeniable.
It worked.
How many times had she refrained because someone had told her no? In the dim lantern light of Adela’s cabin, Eira was transported back to another low-lit moment, before the tournament began. Before she was even on Meru.
Her Aunt Gwen had said something similar, back then. She had been the one to encourage Eira. To tell heryeswhen her brother and uncles were telling her no. And Eira had listened. She’d dared to take that chance. But…
“What happens if—when—I stop holding back and people get hurt?” The fear that had haunted her for what felt like her whole life returned. “Every time I’ve taken a chance on my magic, someone else paid the consequences.” First was Marcus, and her family. Then the Court of Shadows. Had she also somehow doomed Lumeria and the royals for goading on Ulvarth? Eira looked to Adela for answers she knew the pirate queen couldn’t have, but hoped she would anyway.
“You make friends with your failures. Continuing to push them away and fear them will only turn them into bigger beasts than what they already are.” Adela leveled her gaze with Eira’s. “Do not let your responsibilities overwhelm you. Let them focus you and move forward.”
Eira gave a small nod. Then a stronger one. “I understand.”
