And she knew it was him because Olivin and Yonlin had made themselves scarce. Even though they’d respectfully joined in prayers, and offered some of their own to Yargen…neither of them had been as close to Noelle. This pain wasn’t as deep for them. The mourning not as real. They’d gone off with Lavette and Varren belowdecks. Olivin had been even more of a shadow over his brother. The few shadowed glances he’d cast in Eira’s direction had become harder and harder to decipher.
“I’m sorry,” Cullen whispered against her ear.
Eira tilted her head slightly, pressing into him. “What are you sorry for?”
“I should have saved her. Should have done more.”
“We all should have…and yet none of us could.”
I made my choices, Noelle seemed to challenge again between the beats of Eira’s heart. But it was hard to listen to the murmurings of a ghost when grief was real and present.
Eira pulled away from him, stepping to the side. “We should be respectful. Ducot just lost the woman he loved. We don’t want to rub in his face that we still have each other.”
“Of course,” Cullen said softly as Eira went to leave so she could pretend to attend to something. “But Eira”—she stopped—“grief is a burden best shared. Don’t go through this alone.”
“I know,” she said softly. If there was one lesson she’d learned following Marcus, it was that.
But, sometimes, grief demanded solitude and silence. And those were the private battlefields that Eira chose to fight her guilt upon.
42
TheStormfrostwas anchored for two days. The smaller ship was tethered to it, its anchor not large or long enough to reach the depths of the ocean. The delay wasn’t addressed outright. Yet Eira knew it was as a result of them.
Adela didn’t seem the sort to stay in one place for long. Especially not when that place was relatively close to the coast of Carsovia. But the blow they’d dealt to the empire probably helped her decision. Carsovia had other matters to attend to, right now.
As soon as Ducot was on theStormfrost, he wanted nothing to do with them. His crew—his family—welcomed him with open arms. Eira hoped they could help him in a way none of them could.
She had been bracing herself for the resentment of Adela’s crew. After all, she had caused one of their own such pain. But nothing had changed. If anything, the crew seemed to regard them with a deeper sense of respect and understanding.
Every hour blurred into the next. Most of it was spent with her worst enemy: herself. Eira sat on the stern of the vessel and stared out in the direction of Carsovia, even though it was pastthe horizon now. If she closed her eyes and focused, her magic could be carried on the deep currents and crash against that distant shore. It could run through the rivers and underwater reservoirs in the earth all the way back to the fires that still,stillburned.
Every hour, she looked for traces of Noelle’s magic. Of a sign her friend survived.
Every hour, there was none.
Finally, on the third dawn, the mourning period came to an end with Adela’s summons.
Eira went alone, as always. Crow didn’t even bother guarding the door, letting her in, or threatening her. Eira helped herself into the chambers that had become familiar as if they were her own. Adela was in her usual seat, so Eira assumed hers.
They both stared out the windows at the back of the vessel. Silent for a long time. Eira bracing herself for whatever reprimands would rightfully come. She’d lost a member of her crew…beyond losing her treasure or disparaging her name, Eira could think of no greater offense to Adela.
“I have felt your powers these past few days,” Adela finally said.
“I’m looking for her.” Eira didn’t bother to hide it. Though she did glance Adela’s way, challenging the pirate to question her on it.
Adela didn’t. Instead, she said, “Have you found signs of her?”
“No.” The word was ash in her mouth—the taste of flash shale.
Adela hummed softly. “Neither have my men ashore seen any signs.”
“You sent men ashore?” That brought Eira’s attention to her in full.
“Of course I did. She was a member of my crew.” Adela looked offended by Eira’s surprise.
“Thank you,” Eira whispered.
“The only thing more unforgivable than someone attacking me is a slight against my own.” Adela proved Eira’s suspicions right in a way she hadn’t been expecting. “Perhaps the one lesson I learned from that damnable Tower of Sorcerers: you take care of your own.”
