The last of Lellia’s song leaves me.
“You…were not enough to free her.” Krokan begins to retreat.
“Wait—wait!” I scramble to my feet. To run after him, even though I feel like the distance might be unfathomably large. “You cannot run from me.” There is no response, just the sense of the old god retreating farther and farther away. “I have given you everything—my life, my bones, my memories!”
“And we gave this world our essence!” Krokan roars, returning in force. The thrumming in my skull has returned. He speaks with a thousand voices in song. A thousand languages, spoken and unspoken, condensed together in a cacophony of sound. “We gave all so that you and your kind might not just survive, but thrive. Do not speak to me, human, of sacrifice.”
“And that is why you demand sacrifices of your own? As payment for all you gave? Retribution?” I plant my feet, staring up at the old god without a trace of fear. What more can he take from me? There is nothing more that I haven’t already lost or given.
“Ido not demand sacrifices. I do not know by which perversion the people who once so loved and revered me have demanded such.”
I…I don’t know either. I try to sift through the recesses of my mind for an explanation. But it is lost. I cannot recall who I am, what I know and what I’ve seen, while also comprehending an old god.
“The only use I had of you was to see if you could host the spirit of my lady and thus free her. But a mortal form could never be a substitute, even anointed as you are.”
The moment that Krokan goes to pull away, there is a shift in the old god’s demeanor. His attention diverts. A voice so beautiful it pricks tears into my eyes cuts through the still waters. My lids flutter and my body relaxes.
I know this voice… It beckons and calls. Begging for…me.
At first, I cannot tell if this sound is merely some memory pulled from the recesses of my mind during the final moments of existence. But as the voice grows louder I know my senses don’t deceive me. The tentacles shift and part for a beacon of shining, radiant, silver light in the shape of a siren man with platinum blond hair, and brown eyes that hold amber within them.
CHAPTER43
Ilryth.
I know this man. With all my heart and soul and body. I have wondered about him, resented him, resisted him, and revered him. I have tried to keep all I am from falling into his hands only to delight in giving him everything.
His eyes lock with mine. He sings for me. With every word, my memory returns. Every verse is one I can sing along to and its familiarity begs more of what I know in my bones. This is the song he sang that night in the sea when I first gave myself to him. It is the melody he braved leaving the Eversea to use as my lullaby—soothing me, giving power to me, protecting me. This is the song he sang to me,for me…the song that became ours.
My voice joins his. We rise, higher and higher in notes. Every sound is a symphony of two. Our whole selves are poured into the music. For once, for always, we don’t hold ourselves back. We give each other everything and it is more than the union of flesh on a beach, or minds on a balcony.
When the last note fades and we are breathless, and the world is still, there is nothing but each other.
I blink, trying to make sense of what is before me. The haze of our song is fading and, with it, my mind is almost painfully full. Names, places, people, and events all return in force.
The sounds of my ship creaking and my crew buzzing about it with words and heavy steps. I can feel Emily’s hair—my sister’s hair—as I clutch her tightly before sailing off again, every time treated like the last. The scent of my father’s cologne, applied a little too thick, yet still pleasant, makes me almost want to sneeze. The smooth caress of the silks Mother traded in…
Memories, all of them, return to me. Even the ones I chose to rid myself of—the ones I was so ready to part with. Charles…I can imagine every line of his face, carved by the relentless sea and the cruelty of his own heart. Every freckle and birthmark that once formed constellations of desire, then pain and fear. But now, looking back at him, he is not the monster I remember, but a tired, bitter man. He elicits no fondness or pity…or fear.
I do not look back upon him and feel as if I need to expunge him from my memory. He might always be a part of my story that I do not wish to linger on. But he is little more than a chapter. Started, ended, and no longer relevant. So brief in the grand scheme of things that, from where I stand now, it seems almost comical to make him out to be more. There is no more hatred, fear, resentment, or regret surrounding him. Toward Charles there is…nothing. A cool indifference.
But the man who hovers in the ether of the Abyss, at the upper edge of this forgotten, godly place? He is everything. My heart. A future that I can hardly imagine.
Oh, Ilryth… How,howis he here?
Silver light has been woven around him with lines and dots inked upon his flesh, coating it in its entirety. He looks in every measure my mirror. I wonder, if we were to stand opposite each other, if our markings would line up as a perfect match.
Even now, here, throughout it all, he remains. The song we never meant to sing won’t die. I can’t believe my eyes—don’t want to, more like. What does this mean for his well-being?
My stomach knots. I move toward him and away from Krokan. Drawn despite all odds and everything that I know better.
“Why are you here? You can’t be…shouldn’tbe.” Those two words continue to define us. The sight of him is ripping me apart. It is trying to pull me back to the upper sea, where life still thrives. Though, not for much longer, since I have failed so magnificently in my oath to quell Lord Krokan’s rage.
“You know why I’m here,” Ilryth says calmly, eyes locked with mine. I hear his song almost purring in the back of my mind.
“No,” I say instantly. I know what those markings mean. Even if he shouldn’t be able to wear them. It should be impossible.I am the sacrifice. Unless…the moment I was thrown into the Abyss was the moment a new offering could be marked. “I won’t allow you to sacrifice yourself.”
His brows shoot up. He tilts his head slightly then gives it a small shake with a gentle smile. I finally reach him. I feel as though I’ve crossed the world to get to him, but I’m finally here. I can touch him. Our hands clasp around each other’s and I nearly choke from emotion.
