I chuckle bitterly. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Vic.”
There’s no one out there that would love me, not as I am. No person who would set my soul aflame with a touch. A person who would love me—all of me, the good and bad and all the ugly bits, no matter what. And, even if there was, it would be cruel to pursue anything with them. I’m a magnet for bad luck. I am marked for death.
I sigh softly as I wait, running my fingertips over the colors swirled on my forearm. Even from the watery abyss where my siren resides, I can hear him singing to me almost every night. Calling.
But tonight, my mind is silent. And the only sounds in my mind are my own torturous thoughts.
CHAPTER3
The mines arein the distance behind us and more silver than I have ever laid eyes on is in my ship’s hold. The wind is in our favor today, as it has been this entire trip. Everything is going my way. I just need the magic to hold until I return.
I stand at the bow of the vessel and stare at a distant, gray speck on the horizon. This might be the last time I set sail. I wonder how the siren will come to me… Will he crawl up from the sea? Or will the song in the back of my mind become so loud that I am summoned to his lair, walking into the foam, never to be heard from again?
Will death hurt?Phantom pains burn my lungs, tasting of cold seawater.
Seeking a distraction, I return my attention to the decks below. Everyone is getting in their positions, doing what must be done before we start into the Gray Passage. What will come of everything I’ve built these past four years? The sense that I’m letting Kevhan down, after all this man has done for me, is as heavy as the silver belowdecks.
“Captain,” Kevhan signs as he comes to a stop next to me. His ears are stuffed with cotton. Muffs over them. Those who were with the Applegate Trading Company years ago say that it was once rare to see him aboard. But, as long as I’ve been here, he’s been insistent on almost always getting on a ship in his fleet and going somewhere. The sea must be as much his home as it is mine.
“Everything looks good, sir,” I dutifully report. “Winds are in our favor. We should make it to the Gray Passage within the next hour.”
“Let’s hope it’s as easy on the way back as it was on the way here.”
I huff but keep my hands still and thoughts to myself. Even with a captain guarded and guided by siren magic, the passage is never “easy.” I merely repeat his movements. “Let’s hope.”
“There’s something I wished to discuss with you—well—two somethings.”
I motion for him to continue.
“The first is the matter of your compensation.” Those words have my heart seizing. My mind is already racing. I knew the rumors that he had fallen on hard times with the land route being delayed, but if he needs to dock my compensation for the run…where could I make up the difference? “There was more silver in that mine than even our best estimates. My wife will be happy.”
The Lady Applegate is a shrewd businesswoman. All of the sense of Kevhan with twice the cunning and half the heart—if that much, even. She’s the one who inherited the mines from her former, late husband, making her union with Applegate a notable one in the Tenvrath region. The means of production joined with the means of transport.
“For that reason, there is enough for me to double your regular payment for this run.”
“Excuse me?” I can barely move my hands to form the words due to my trembling fingers.
Kevhan turns to me with a knowing smile. I glance back at my ship—my crew—from the corner of my eye.Someone told him. I’m caught between panic and shame.
“Consider it a bonus.”
“Sir, I couldn’t… Your family…”
“My family will be fine,” he reassures me. Yet, I know the tired expression he wears. It’s the face of someone who’s trying desperately, at all costs, to hold everything together. “This shipment will usher in a new era for the Applegate Trading Company. It’s the least I can do for you helping me get to this point. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I—”
“You are like a fourth daughter to me, Victoria,” he says warmly. How can something so tender strike me like a dagger between my ribs? “And I feel like I’ve taken advantage of your skill for years by not paying you enough. I’d like to do this. Please let me.”
How can I say no to that? Even if it makes me mildly uncomfortable, I raise my hand to my face and lower it in an arc to say, “Thank you.”
“No, thank you. We’ve been through a lot, you and I.” He chuckles. “You’ve come a long way from the slip of a girl I met nearly five years ago.”
The first thing I did after washing up on that beach was walk to Dennow, the heart of Tenvrath. I knew that I could find some kind of work in the city…I never would’ve guessed that I might luck upon a lord expanding his business and in desperate need of captains who were foolish enough to sail the north route.
That was my first luck of the siren’s song.
I didn’t know the slightest thing about helming a ship. Lying about it had been as reckless as running from Charles. But it wasn’t as if he had a lot of ship captains willing to sail through the Gray Passage, known for its sea monsters and ghosts. I was one of his only options and he was mine. I put in the work, had the magic, and it all panned out. My first lies to Kevhan were the best lies I ever told.
