Noelle eased back in her seat. Eira could tell from the woman’s stiff shoulders and slightly pursed lips she wasn’t happy with the situation but agreed with Eira’s assessment. After a long pass of silence, the chorus of the creaking carriage the only sounds, Noelle finally asked, “Did you recognize her from your time with them?”
Eira shook her head. The shadows cast by the curtains suddenly seemed darker, more ominous. She was back in the pit, deep below the earth, far from where light, and sound, and anything good could live.
“It’s possible she wasn’t a Pillar at all,” Alyss said, attempting what seemed like optimism. She didn’t realize the thought was worse.
If the woman was a Pillar, then she would’ve been long indoctrinated. Her views, as horrible as they were, had a logical explanation. But if the woman was a normal citizen, then that meant she’d come to those devout conclusions overnight. Or she’d long held them in secret, admitting the true depth of her extremism to no one, perhaps not even herself, until an outlet for them had presented itself.
Eira leaned back and ran a hand through her hair and found herself agreeing with Noelle. It’d be easier if she could look out the window. She’d dreamed of coming to Meru for years. Being here was the reason she’d entered the games at all, despite her family’s hesitancies. Well, that and wanting to prove to herself and her brother that she didn’t need to be coddled at every turn. She’d fought so hard and sacrificed so much for what? To be hidden in a carriage, fearing for her life, worrying about a madman who sought to undo everything she’d ever thought she’d loved.
“This is boring. If we’re not going to have a view then I expect you to entertain me,” Noelle said with a note of levity.
Eira tried to force a smile, unsure of how much she succeeded. But neither of her friends commented if her attempt was poor. “Very well, what sort of entertainment do you have in mind?”
Noelle’s smile turned serious. “What happened between you and Cullen?”
Eira groaned and sank back into her seat.
“You don’t have to tell us.” Alyss patted Eira’s knee.
“Yes, she does, because I need to know if I’m burning every pair of the man’s undergarments tonight as a result of him daring to not treat her like the queen she is.” Noelle folded her arms. Eira chuckled briefly at the thought of Cullen going the entire tournament without his smallclothes.Oh, the chafing. But the thought of him sans clothing only made the memories of the night they’d shared flood back to her, sobering the brief moment of lightheartedness.
“I should tell you both.” Eira shook her head, as if she could dispel the memories and thoughts and every painful bit of emotion that Cullen had attached to her. If she could detach herself from him—think through it all with clinical precision—then perhaps it wouldn’t hurt so much. Eira massaged the back of her hand where his knuckles had brushed against hers on the night they’d walked back together from the noble’s dinner he’d invited her to. Somehow, the little touches were imprinted as much as the big ones. Maybe more. “You’ll find out soon enough and the faster we can all move past it the better.”
“I’m not liking where this is going.” Noelle’s arms went slack at her side.
“He’s engaged, and not to me.” Eira ripped open the wound once more. Hopefully, this was the final time. Hopefully, now it would begin to heal.
“What?” they both exclaimed in unison.
“When?” Noelle demanded to know.
“How?” Alyss gasped. “Well, I know how an engagement happens but—what? Who?”
Eira stared at her leggings—the standard-issue Solaris garb they’d worn off the boat. Cullen’s father Yemir had inspected her that day, too. Never once had she measured up in his eyes. Never once would she. It had been so obvious all along, outright told to her at court.
“Lavette, from Qwint,” Eira said. “I didn’t notice until last night. It didn’t hit me until they danced. I’d been so wrapped up with the Pillars, with myself, that I didn’t see it.”
“You could be wrong, couldn’t you?” Alyss grabbed at hope.
Eira shook her head. “Yemir confirmed it.”
“That power-grabbing bastard.” Noelle scowled. “He tries at every turn to ascend higher and higher. Next we’ll be hearing about how the engagement has been called off because he’s convinced the Crown Princess Vi herself to take Cullen’s hand instead of Voice Taavin’s.”
Eira’s stomach did a flip and landed upside down. Luckily she was convinced of Vi and Taavin’s intentions for each other, confident in the stability of their union. Otherwise she might have agreed with Noelle’s cool calculation of Yemir’s intentions.
“Why would he do this to his only son? No. Forget Yemir. How could Cullen let it happen?” Alyss couldn’t have been expecting an answer, but Eira gave one anyway.
“Cullen thinks he has to—that he has no other choice.”
“Butwhy? Cullen is a lord in his own right and a man.”
“Yemir is a lord onlybecauseCullen is,” Noelle reminded them. “Cullen’s status as the first Windwalker returning and favorite of the empress was what elevated his family. Without Cullen, Yemir is a man of no importance.”
“Which explains Yemir’s actions,” Alyss mused. “He needs Cullen to maintain this life he’s placed so much of his value and worth into—to play his part and maintain stability. And if he wants to expand his influence, then Cullen has to be the one to do that as well for them. But none of that explains why Cullen gives in to it and allows himself to be used and controlled.”
“He could just love his family?” Noelle suggested the obvious.
“True. Even the hardest to love usually find someone to do it.” Alyss sighed.
