“Olivin…” Eira whispered. Her chest was too tight to manage words.
“Tell me I should stop.” He leaned forward, the side of his nose brushing against hers. She sucked in a breath. Holding it. Her whole body in tension. The way he looked at her throughhis long lashes and heavy lids with raw passion made her insides turn to jelly.
“You should.”
“Tell me you want me to.” His fingers pushed on her chin, tilting her face up.
Eira opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. She knew what was about to happen and…she let it.
His lips quivered slightly as they brushed against hers. The briefest of touches—so brief that she almost wasn’t sure if it was real or not. It was like a warning shot. A breath to allow her to walk away. To do the thing she knew was sensible.
But being sensible—trying to consider all facets of a situation, constantly—was exhausting. Sometimes, shewantedto give in to her reckless instincts. She wanted to let go even when she knew she shouldn’t. She wanted to follow her hammering heart and the burning need she’d been forcing herself to ignore.
Olivin leaned away. Her eyes opened wide enough to see his intense expression. He looked as if he wanted to devour her. She swallowed hard, tilting her head slightly.
The hesitation vanished. Everything collapsed with a muffled noise of surprise. A rush of air and dizzying relief that went straight to her head when his mouth crashed back into hers. The tension that had been building between them had reached its breaking point, and oh…how gorgeously they shattered.
His grip shifted, tilting her face in the right way. The gentle press of his thumb had her lips parting for him. Olivin deepened the kiss with the finesse of a skilled lover.
She was putty in his grasp and Eira allowed her mind to go blissfully blank. There was so much to worry about. So much weighing on them. For a moment she just wanted to let it all go and escape into the warmth of a handsome man—of desire. Was that so bad? Did that make her so terrible?
Nothing that felt this good could be terrible.
Olivin took another small step forward. The firm length of his body pressed her against the wall. Her hands had nowhere else to go but his hips. He was a lean man. Wiry, ropy muscle. All the flowing fabrics he wore hid just how lithe he actually was. Her hands drifted down, grazing over the pert curve of his rear.
A low rumble rose up his throat. She caught it. No longer a passive participant, Eira kissed him back fiercely.Give me relief, each kiss said silently,let me feel and simply be, if only for a moment.
Olivin’s other hand shifted to tangle in her hair. His touch. The space between them compressed. The broad expanse of his back… She could imagine how he might feel in bed. The way he would take her.
Falling between the sheets with him would be simple. Easy. He exuded the confidence that came with experience. They didn’t need to overcomplicate this with anything beyond carnal need.
He must have had similar thinking, because he pulled away and leaned in, cheek against hers. Against the shell of her ear, he rasped, “Come to bed with me.”
Eira’s eyes fluttered closed. Her head tilted, leaning into each of his hands. He took the opening to kiss over her chin and down her neck.
“I will be good to you.” His voice was husky against her throat.
“I…I know.” She could feel it deep in her core.It would be so easy… “But I can’t.”
Olivin’s kisses slowed, turning to sweet pecks. He leaned away, stroking the swell of her cheek with his thumb. “Was I too forward? Did I misread?”
“No. I would’ve stopped you if I wanted. Which, I just did.” Eira gave him a sly smile. “But I told you, I don’t know what I feel.”
“I don’t need your heart to enjoy your company, or your body.” He smirked. It was annoyingly handsome. But it was also accented by his yet haunted, almost desperate eyes. Maybe…in some ways, he was as broken as she was. They both had wanted this distraction against their better judgment and that reaffirmed her decision.
“I know. But I don’t know how my heart would handle it. And that’s…that’s why I can’t.” She’d indulged herself enough. But there was a line. A point where, once crossed, she didn’t know what would happen. She’d vowed at the start of the tournament she wouldn’t allow herself to get swept away. There were still things outstanding with Cullen—even if they weren’t together…they also weren’t entirelynottogether. It was complicated enough that anything more didn’t feel right.
“While I admit I wish it was a different outcome, I respect your choice.”
Eira ran a hand down his chest. Olivin leaned into it slightly. “I wish I knew I could and keep things simple. But I know my heart still needs time. And I don’t know if I’m the sort of woman who can lie with a man without feelings being involved.”
“Eira”—her name was so very sweet on his lips—“you don’t have to explain yourself to me. A simple no is enough. I want nothing less than an enthusiastic yes from my partners.” She smiled even as his hand fell from her face. “A shame, though, thatthismoment is when you found your more sensible, measured nature.” He had a mischievous glint to his eyes.
“Isn’t it though?” She leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. Olivin wore a warm smile as she pulled away. “I haven’t always made the best choices…but I’m trying to be better.”
Better already was not thinking this moment was love. A want for distraction did not mean, or need to be, an entanglement of the heart. But better was also knowing when a distraction, even what would’ve been a delicious one, was ill-advised. When it was a risk she wasn’t yet ready for.
He took a step back. “Should you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
