I stare up at him, nearly having run into him. We’re a breath apart. His expression the last time we were this close is seared on my memory. His frustration. Hurt.
If you want, you can be nothing to me.
I don’t want that. I know I don’t. But I haven’t found the words, or the courage, to say so yet. I’m still wounded from all he didn’t say, or tell me sooner. All he did, and his forefathers did, that I didn’t know I needed to forgive him for—all that I find myself struggling with during quiet moments even if I seem completely fine when I’m busy. He was right, we came together so quickly and now I’m ricocheting backward, away from him, like a hammer striking an anvil directly.
Maybe I will find words for him again before I leave for the hamlet. But the fuller the moon grows, the closer I am to returning to all I’ve known, the more a sense of shame creeps upon me, unbidden. Unwanted. Yet undeniable.
“Moments of brilliance,” Callos says, pushing past the tension as if he doesn’t sense it when I know he does.
“That hardly is surprising,” Ruvan murmurs, as if the compliment is hard for him to say.
“Why thank you.” My shoulder brushes his arm as I step around.
“We’re going to the old castle,” Winny reports. I freeze, shoulders rising to my ears. I was hoping to avoid this.
“The old castle? Why?” Ruvan’s footsteps pick up behind me.
“I need to test something.”
He grabs my elbow. “You can’t go to the old castle.”
“Why not?” I whirl.
“What if something happens to you?”
“Winny and Callos are coming.”
Ruvan’s frown deepens. “Callos is hardly of help in a fight.”
“Thank you for all your confidence, my lord,” Callos says dryly.
His eyes dart to his knight. “Sorry.”
“We’ll only be a moment.” I try and pull my arm from Ruvan’s grasp. He holds firm. “Let me go.”
“I’m coming with you,” he insists.
“I can protect myself.”
“Riane can look after herself. And, either way, I don’t think you coming is a good idea, my lord.” Winny comes to my aid. “You’re too close to the curse. You’re in no position to be fighting Succumbed. One bite from them might do you in.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he insists.
“For what?” I ask.
“For you.” His attention rests solely on me and I swallow thickly.
“I don’t want you to.” I’m imagining him in bed again, withering away, but this time we can’t bring him back from the brink.
Ruvan’s resolute expression evaporates. His shoulders slump slightly. Without another word, he releases me and pulls away.
An urge rises within me to follow him. To hold him fiercely and reassure him that I will be all right. Maybe there’s still something for us, an ember still smoldering, determined. We just need to protect that flame, however small.
I catch his hand. “Ruvan.”
His eyes meet mine again, summoned by his name.
“I couldn’t stand by while you gave in to the curse.”
