“Is that how you escaped before?”
“What?”
“That passage?”
Eira inhaled slowly. “What passage?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
“I think you’re tired and—”
“I know what I saw.” He turned, staring down at her. “I felt your magic when you summoned the illusion from the other side. Waterrunner illusions are only good when the air is still, or they can account for breezes.” Cullen twirled his fingers and Eira felt breezes spinning around them. “As soon as I sensed your magic, I summoned just enough to distort the illusion. I saw you.”
Eira wasn’t sure if she should be flattered that he knew her magic well enough to sense it. Or if she should be bothered by the fact thatshehadn’t sensedhismagic. Sneaking around just might not be her strong suit and if she didn’t learn quickly, the weak links in her skills would kill her.
“Where were you?” Cullen took a step forward.
“Why were you awake?”
“Because I…” He faltered and frowned slightly. “I asked you first.”
“I can’t tell you,” Eira said weakly.
“Enough secrets.” He grabbed her shoulders. Eira tried to step away but the backs of her legs hit the footboard of the poster bed. “Your secrets got you taken away. Every night you were gone I dreamed of them torturing you only to find out that there was truth in my worst nightmares.” He shook her lightly. “Stop taking risks. Stop sneaking off. You can’t—I can’t—”
“Can’t what?” She stared up at him. Shadows and moonlight clung to the edges of his handsome face—the curve of his strong jaw, the faint stubble that lined his chin.
“I can’t spend another night worrying about what might happen to you. I can’t knock on your door again to have no answer, to have my panic force me to peek in—just in case—and find your bed empty. I can’t sit, debating if it is more of a risk to you to sound the alarm of your absence or to wait and see if you return from whatever it is you’ve gone off to do.”
“If it wasn’t important I wouldn’t go.” Eira grabbed his arms behind his elbows. She felt the tension rippling in his muscles. “You have to believe me.”
“I do. But share this burden like you did the Pillars. You don’t have to bear it alone.”
“They’re not my secrets to tell.”
“Let me in,” he pleaded.
“Cullen—”
“Eira, please, I love you.”
Three words, and the world halted. Three magic words and he stole the air from the room, leaving her breathless. Her chest tightened and her eyes burned. She hadn’t realized how badly she wanted to hear him say that until he had. Neither did she realize just how terrified it made her.
“I… I’m sorry for springing it on you. I know you have a lot to worry about and I am the last thing you need.” How wrong he was. “But I can’t spend another night tortured thinking I will never have the chance to tell you.”
She was back with the Pillars, sitting on the window bench and swearing to herself that she would work up the nerve to tell him when she returned. She imagined them doing the same thing—staring out different windows—and vowing to make their feelings known when they next had the chance because who knew if it might be their last.
He misinterpreted her silence. “If I have read this wrong…then please, tell me you don’t love me. If you won’t let me into your heart, then do me the courtesy of giving back the piece of mine you’ve taken. Because seeing you and wondering is torture. Being around you without you knowing how I feel has been agony. Having you within my grasp but not touching you is like dying a beautiful, horrible death…yet all I want is for you to slay me time and again.”
As he spoke, his fingers trailed up her neck. His palms landed on her cheeks and his hands cupped her face. Eira was unable to suppress a shiver at the phantom memory of his fingers tangling in her hair. He was as close as he had been that day at court.
“Do you love me?”
“I…”
“Tell me you don’t and I will walk away to repair my heart. But I will still hold you in nothing but esteem,” he said, his voice husky and deep.
Ferro told you he loved you as well. Adam told you he loved you. And we both know how well they worked out. Eira pressed her eyes shut, trying to block out the bitter words of her past self. In the darkness, she found the same truth she’d discovered during her time in the pit. She had made a promise to herself. Now was the time to make good on it.
