“Me too,” Cullen added.
One by one, Eira locked eyes with them, seeking hesitation. Finding none, she drew a trembling breath. But the words locked up, her throat becoming a vault. Where would she start? Where could she? What if someone was listening now?
“Are you sure you want to tell us?” Alyss whispered.
“I need to,” Eira decided. “I’ve kept too much from you all… I should have opened up to you long ago about Marcus, about everything. And I didn’t. Holding in my emotions—my truths—was part of how I ended up in this mess.”
“It’s not your fault.” Alyss rested a hand on her back.
“Thank you for saying so, but it is.” If Eira had made peace with Marcus’s death earlier, she might not have run off after Ducot. She might not have been so reckless in her pursuit of Ferro. “I was thinking only about myself and revenge before. And now, because of that, you’re all in danger.”
“So you’ve told us.” Noelle’s voice had become heavier. The gravity of the situation was slowly seeping into her.
“Have any of you heard of the Pillars yet?”
Alyss and Noelle shook their heads no.
“I heard something,” Cullen whispered. “In that, I overheard the name mentioned at one of my father’s stupid dinners after you’d gone missing.” He looked guilty for dining while she was captive. As if she didn’t full well know how Yemir was.
“You didn’t have a choice,” Eira breathed, resting her fingers lightly on his hand.
“Still…” He seemed to readily accept that she’d accurately surmised his thoughts. “But it was just a mention. No details.”
“The first thing you all have to know is that the Pillars are ready to do anything to undermine Lumeria…” Eira began telling them everything she knew about the Pillars, stopping when her throat was hoarse and Alyss bounced up to fetch her water.
“You came to all these realizations when you were kidnapped?” Cullen’s brow furrowed.
“More or less…” Eira had been debating how much to tell them about the Court of Shadows. They were already targeted by the Pillars. But joining the court should be their choice. Yet, how could she give them that choice without going back on her word to the court and exposing them? No, them joining the court or not wasn’t her choice, it was Deneya’s and the other Specters’.
Biting her lip, Eira hoped they would understand her cageyness. “There are some things I can’t tell you just yet. For your safety and the safety of others… I hope you can all accept that.”
“Just what did you get yourself into?” Alyss whispered. Eira gave her a tired smile.
“The night that I disappeared, I wasn’t kidnapped from the manor… I sneaked out to chase after the Pillars. I had reason to believe I knew of a meeting. Something I,uh, heard in the Archives.” The lie stung a bit. But she’d drawn the line at keeping her word to the Court of Shadows and keeping her dealings with them a secret. Besides, it wasn’t the court threatening her friends. “I had reason to believe that Ferro would be at this meeting, and I was right.”
Alyss let out a soft gasp. Cullen met Eira’s eyes with a mix of hurt and rage. He knew what Ferro had done in extreme detail. He wanted revenge as badly as she did.
“But I was captured…”
It must have taken an hour for her to tell them everything that transpired. Even skipping over some of the harder parts, or glossing over some of the uglier bits, the tale seemed to drag on forever. Eira could feel the darkness closing in around her as she told them about the pit. Her words were shakier, messier, when she spoke about Ferro. She went into the least amount of detail there.
A slimy shame coated her skin at the mere mention of Ferro’s name. Now freed, what she had to do and say to escape seemed too extreme.There had to have been another way, a part of her mind insisted,but instead you allowed that wretched man to think he owns you. Eira smothered the internal voice. She had done what it took to survive. She was strong enough to live with the consequences.
“…and so, come morning, I’ll have to blame the morphi and keep the appearance the Pillars want me to. Otherwise you’re all in grave danger. That’s why I had to tell you the truth now. I owed it to you all.”
Alyss was crying again. Noelle seemed shaken to her very core. Cullen’s face had started out horrified and shifted to rage; now his expression was cold and stony. Eira waited for someone to say something.
Had she just condemned her friends to their deaths by trying to lean on them when she hadn’t in months?
“I hope…you all don’t hate me now,” she said finally.
“I’m glad you told us.” Noelle folded her arms. “These scum are still out there and we need to be ready for them.”
Eira ran a hand through her hair. “I’m so sorry, for everything.”
“You can’t change what’s been done.” Cullen leaned forward. Without hesitation, he placed his fingers on the back of her hand resting on her knee. “But we’ll be here for you going forward. Thank you for telling us.”
“And for Mother’s sake, listen to me for once in your life and stop being so reckless.” Alyss gave her a squeeze. “But yes, we’re here for you. We’ll make sure we all stay safe.”
